"Lovely"

Part Seven (Harry)

Part Seven: Harry

It had come out at last. I knew I liked Louis, and nothing Diana had to say was going to change that. It was a strange feeling I got when I was with him, one that I couldn’t quite explain. A comfortable sort of pleasantness, if you will. There had never been another person with which I had felt so…like myself. Like I really was Harry. I was always so nervous around him though. It bothered me. I suppose the truth of the matter is that Louis had that effect on me. He made my knees feel weak.  Lou always looked so put together, and it seemed as though nothing had ever upset him. He had this wonderful way of being; where he only pulled the good out of a situation. It was as if he was truly a human sunshine, the first flicker of light and warmth in a world that had sunk itself down into a dark, sub-zero hole.

Louis had told me about being hit by a car last year at his old school, back when he lived in Doncaster. Some ill-mannered prick had slammed into Lou, and broken his fingers, as well as injuring his shoulder. Louis had been lucky to get out of that with only those injuries. I couldn’t imagine what might have happened. The thought of those people doing that to him sickened me, but Louis wasn’t bitter about it at all. You know, when he spoke of it, he actually took the blame.

“Why the hell did they do that to you?” I had snapped angrily into the phone.

“Oh, Harry” I recalled his mumbling, “It’s alright, honestly, I shouldn’t have been in the way…Liam just wasn’t driving slow enough for p-parking l-ots and-“

“And nothing, Lou, do you realize that he could be charged with assault for that?!”

Louis had then gone on about how it really wasn’t Liam’s fault, and that he needed to learn how things “were supposed to work.”

There was obviously something he wasn’t telling me. It worried me, knowing that things like that had happened to him. I was scared to death that it might happen to me if I was to come out as well.

I thought it was best not to press it though. Louis and I had only just expressed our feelings, and I didn’t want to mess anything up with him.

~

Following our conversation, I had made Lou a tea. Earl grey, with a third milk and two packets of sweetener, the way he liked it.  He had taken his seat at the end of the counter, alternating between watching me work, and taking in the various paintings that Diana had hung up on the walls.

I place the paper cup in front of Louis with my most casual glance. It had come to my attention that if I wanted this to keep going, I needed to turn up my charm a bit.

See, that was all fine and dandy, except I’m not charming at all. I’m clumsy and foolish and Louis is…

Well he’s certainly not that.

“Earl grey with a third milk and two packets of sweetener?” I ask, though I already know the answer. Louis’ face lights up a bit as he accepts the drink.

“You remembered.” He sighs happily, pulling the lid off.

“Of course.” I reply, returning to my work. Louis sits quietly for a few moments, twirling the stir stick in his drink. He appears almost childlike, so easily entertained.

This allows me a moment to slip into the back room to get more bread. Diana always leaves a few extra loaves in the oven, just in case we happen to run out. The extra bread often goes stale, however. It’s been terribly slow recently; and more and more often Diana sends me home early, and closes up shop. I know that she’s terrified of having to close her doors for good, but I suppose she doesn’t get much of a say in that. It’s all about money you see, the people at the bank do not care if you have a family you need to support. If you cannot pay the bills, then you cannot keep your doors open. The same thing goes for housing too. The electricity company does not want to hear the reason for the overdue payments. They only want you to catch them up, or switch companies.