Fight // WWE Dean Ambrose

Chapter 38

"Riley" Dean says as the door shuts. I ignore him and throw his jacket that I forgot I was wearing onto the floor.
"Riley, did you hear me?" He asks. I see him slowly walking into the room. Good, his ass should be scared. I walk over to the bed and fold some clothes that were randomly thrown on there to distract myself, and maybe calm down.
"yes" I say in a neutral tone.
"So what the hell is your problem?" He asks, a slight edge to his tone. I snap my head up to look at him. What the hell is my problem?!
"What's that supposed to mean? You're the one that kissed Nattie!" I remind him. I don't think I've ever stood up for myself this much in my life, but I kind of like it.
"It was a friendly thing Riley, I don't want to kiss anybody for real except you and you damn well know that" even with the anger in his voice, I get kind of happy deep down at his confession.
"You almost killed us, and then you were being all buddy buddy with punk. He was treating me like a baby, you should have stood up for me!" He exclaims, dramatically throwing his arms in the air. I roll my eyes at how annoying and just plain dumb he's being. Punk as trying to restore order between us, and without him I think I might of had to strangle Dean with my own bare hands.

"You ruined this whole day, I didn't even want to go here, I was trying to be nice for you, but you had to start the fight! You're so annoying sometimes, why don't you ever just listen to me?! He yells, angrily tugging at his hair with his fingers. I cross my arms and wait for him to finish his little temper tantrum. He stares at me, and I'm pretty sure he's done.
"I was driving, Dean! I didn't almost kill us, and I didn't do anything wrong. You threw the stuff about my mom into my face and used it against me to purposely hurt me. I didn't start the fight, you did!" I scream. I can't even tell if he's listening to me, and I grow more frustrated. He's staring at the ground.
"Dean!" I yell. Wow, our hotel room neighbours are going to love us.
He looks up at me with a bored expression, and something inside of me snaps.
"Listen! You were screaming at me while I was trying to drive! You are so immature and so unwilling to take blame that you blame everybody else for your mistakes! It's annoying as hell, and you need to start being a man. Put your big boy pants on and start acting like an adult! Take responsibility for your actions and for gods sake, say please once in a while!" as I say each word, I see the anger drain from Dean, until he looks almost...sad? I think he is just now realizing how wrong he is, and what he did was totally uncalled for.
"You never know when to stop, do you Dean? You take things way too far until one of us is crying. You make things too big of a deal." I tell him. It's the truth, he makes things way too over dramatic, and makes a huge deal out of nothing. His negativity feels like it could drown me sometimes.
"I don't know how much longer I can bite my tongue and deal with this Dean. You are so rude to everyone and you don't see any problem with it. You always get all pissy when things don't go your way, and you get mad at the littlest things. It seems like you always want to fight with me. We have these little fights at least once a week and it's starting to build up and get to me. I can't do this anymore" I whisper the last part. Throughout that whole speech, my voice was lowering without me even knowing it until I could barely hear myself talk.
Dean is shaking his head as if he refuses to believe and take in what I'm saying, but it more so proves my point. He seems to only care about himself half the time, and he needs to remember it takes two to be in a relationship.
I can't believe I'm saying all of this right now. It's so unlike me to completely bombard someone like this, and tell them everything that's wrong with them. But I can't stop. I have been holding this in for months, and it's about time I spoke up too. I can't turn into one of those defenceless girls who is scared of their boyfriend, Dean needs to be put into his spot and know that he can't do this to me anymore. It's anger, mixed with this building up for too long, and I need to tell Dean all of this. He needs to know.
"You can't do this anymore?" Dean questions, in such a quiet voice I'm not sure if he actually said it. Do I mean it, can I really not do this anymore? I want nothing more but to stay with him, and I think I always will want to stay with him.
I don't mean that I can't do this anymore as in I want to break up, I mean right now, I need a break from Dean. I absolutely hate to admit it to myself, but we need a break for a little while. I don't want to be apart from Dean, but like they say, the heart grows fonder with absence.
I'm finally admitting this to Dean, but more to myself. I can't be the only one making an effort to make this relationship work.
"Maybe we rushed this too much. We're traveling together, we're hanging out 24/7. I ...think we need a break. A break from each other for a few days." I stutter the words that burn my throat to say to him. He looks revealed that I don't want to break up, but also sad too.
"I think... I just need a few days to" tears begin to slowly trickle down my face, and I take a deep breath to try and compose myself. I stare up at the ceiling for a moment, and Dean waits patiently.
"A few days to think over what I want." My voice is going higher pitched, because I'm crying. This is the hardest thing in the world right now, and I'm getting pain in my chest just from saying the words. I shrug and wait for him to say something.
"I love you" he says lightly, like his words are feathers. I almost repeat the words to him, out of habit, but I hold myself back. I love Dean, and I think part of me always will. He isn't all bad like I basically just told him he is. He is definitely flawed, but everybody is. He's grumpy almost all of the time, and he usually says anything negative in any situation. He seems to adore starting fights, he's stubborn and he talks way more then he should sometimes. But he's also the funniest person you can meet. He's got a big heart, as much as he hates to admit it, and he teaches me something new about myself everyday. He's my best friend and he supports me through everything, and even gives me a new out look on life. But where I stand, right now... I need a break.
Jumping into this crazy lifestyle that these superstars and divas lead, dealing with the drama between Nikki and Brie, and now Nattie... On top of that trying to make friends, keep in touch with my family and do the best job I can... I need to think over what I want and who I want in my life.
"Please say it back" he begs me, his voice cracking at the end. If I have to see Dean cry, I know I won't have it in me to leave.
Watching Dean so upset is breaking me, and I want to walk over and bury my head in his neck. I want to tell him that I'm not mad, that I want to stay in here, with his arms wrapped around me tonight, but I can't do that. I need to do this for myself. I'm not that mad anymore, I'm exhausted and I need to sleep. I need to sleep and think, without Dean being here, and think about everything going on right now.
I look away from his eyes, and walk over to my suitcase to get it so I can leave. I have no clue where I'll go, but I have to start this now. Not tomorrow, not in an hour, now. The longer I wait, the less likely I'll be to go through with it.
"No, let me leave. Please" he insists. I want to refuse, and tell him that I'll be the one to leave. But I know if I don't let him leave, he's going to be worried all night and will probably come looking for me.
"Okay" I whisper, and turn around so he can leave. I hear his suitcase lift off the ground and the wheels roll against the wooden floor. The echo grows farther and farther, and the doorknob suddenly turns. I hold the back of my hand to my mouth to drown out my sobs so he can't hear it. Tears quickly flow down my cheeks, and I cough into my hand.