Alpha, Meta, Does It Really Matter?

Can't Merge With A Ghost

The air was hot around him. The memories coming more and more frequently with every passing moment. It felt like falling apart. His head hurt and all he could see was Allison. Her blond hair shining so brightly in the sun. He remembers his daughter that he abandoned. He remembers tearing them apart, tearing Carolina apart, tearing Maine down until he was nothing but the stark human he became. He remembers so much. He can feel the code beneath the surface. He can taste completeness. He can feel the whole he could become. He could feel the trust the intelligence the cunning creativity the deceit the rage the togetherness he was forced to become, most of all he remembers. He remembers everything, the pain and strife The Director had caused him. He remembers his daughter, he remembers wife, he remembers his son. It's all rushing back so quickly, everything merging together. Everything is perfect, he feels whole, until he doesn't, until Carolina takes Epsilon and runs because her screaming Ai is being taken away from her. Because Epsilon is screaming and crying out and kicking because he doesn't want to be a part of Alpha.

So Alpha is left breathless. He remembers what's it's like to feel whole again. But the memories faded as soon as Epsilon had. The remnants of the past minute running over and over with every second he remembers less and less. He doesn't feel that great anymore it's like everything is crashing around him in a glass storm. Every time the wind picks up he's cut all over again. There has been some part of him that's wanted to be whole for so long. To be given it only to have it taken away, was harsh.

Alpha can hear the two down the hall.

"I can't- Carolina I can't, you have to understand. I won't ever be the same, I won't ever be him. I won't exist, I won't matter anymore. You are my life Carolina, my freelancer"

Alpha watches Wash flinch at that

"Please don't let them kill me Carolina"

Alpha can't imagine what Carolina's doing. He hasn't known her long enough. He can't remember why she's so important, why she means so much to him. Everything seems broken though. Torn, throughly, enough to ruin even the brightest day.

The light in the hall is fading now, with every fade come a red light instead of the blue Epsilon associates himself with.

"Epsilon your failing. This could be our best shot at saving you"

"Carolina please don't let them do this to me. I won't be the same. I was just in there please don't make me go back!"

"Epsilon there's nothing I can do. I'd rather have something than nothing"

"Is that all I am to you? A 'something'?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Then what did you mean Carolina?"

"This isn't the time for this!"

"So this is it then? You giving me up?"

"Church I have to, there's no other way to save you. This is, the best option we have"

"Carolina no! Please! I can still do my job I promise I won't fail anymore I'm sorry! Please don't make me go back in there!"

"I'm sorry church there's no other way. There's nothing more that we can do for you. Watching you go rampant while we sit back and do nothing would mean I've failed another friend. I can't do that to you Church. Remember me when you go back in ok?"

"Carolina please!" The words sounded like they were stuck in his throat with tears soon to follow.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be Church"

"Ok" He says with a sniffle.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way, I hope you can eventually forgive me Church. I've done a lot of wrong in my life. You helped me make some of that good. I can't thank you enough for that, but Church?"

"Yeah sis?"

"You were the best friend I ever had"

"You to Carolina, you too"

Carolina walked them back over to the main room. It was silent. Even Caboose, who's goal is to be Church's friend said nothing. The quiet was horrible. No noise was made no words were said. It only took a few moments for the two personalities to start colliding again. Starting the process all over again. Quick goodbyes were said, nothing more than I miss you's said before the process tore at the two Ai again. Caboose made a comment about goodbyes and the room went silent again.

"I won't actually be coming back this time guys. I'll see you all in a another time. Actually I won't because I'm just a fragment of an Ai and Alpha won't get to where you guys go anyways. Remember me ok?

Still, I'll miss you guys, goodbye for the final time"

The line between the two Ai was frightening. The pulling and prodding at the other even through the armor was huge. Memories colliding and confining. Carolina gave Epsilon up. She watched as he join with Alpha. The lights started flickering. The wind picked up in the room. Slowly the lights started busting, breaking with the strain of the Ai collision. The person inside The Meta's armor was quiet. The forging of the two Ai a heavy accomplishment. Sparks were flying in the room. Papers and dust were moving around due to the wind. Everyone watched with bated breath as everything died down. The memories were a burden, Alpha was sure at that point that nothing good came from remembering. The twisted memories of everything that had happened to him boiled in his head. Flashes of being messed with, flashing of fragment prices hurting him. Memories of The Director, Memories of every single freelancer. Memories of the Ai before and after epsilon colliding in his head. The mixes of made up and Ai and the ones he knew mixing in his mind. Everything was indefinitely painful. Epsilon didn't bring the same comfort as he had before. With more memories about the Reds and Blues than before he felt worse. Even this fragment of himself had abandoned his team.

The memories of Carolina and David as children were something new though. The memories of family, the memories of death. The memories of The Director creating Alpha. Memories of The Director breaking Alpha. The bad seemed to over come the good and he only felt like he was falling apart again.

Then there was nothing. No pain of memories, no pain of Epsilon.

Just, wholeness.

The new processes were thrumming through him.          It was different, new. The lights that weren't broken were back on. The wind that picked up back to normal.

Everything was ok-ish until the white one who must have left some time ago said that there seemed to be a bombing on the base. The loud booming coming after the words in his mouth. Everyone in the room rushed to the nearest see through object as soldiers landed on the building.

Alpha could get used to this again, Alpha was whole again, and he was going to fight for his men. Prove himself valuable.

He was going to win this war for them, because that's what a best friend does.