Fixing A Broken Compass

We're In This Together

"You don't need water to feel like your drowning do you?"

Miles managed to make it into English class with a second to spare. He earned a little smile and a small shake of the head from Ms. Johnson but she waved him in. He easily found his way to his desk-Kota had put his backpack on it again. Saving him a spot.

The action made his heart warm. One sweet gesture with his otherwise nonstop morning. Although most days were nonstop. He swooped into his seat giving Kota a lazy grin, letting out a yawn as he did so.

He was still exhausted-Reggie had woken up a couple times during the night-thankfully Miles had managed to easily lull him back to sleep. His brother just needed some extra love and affection.

Still the continuous up and down was leaving him drained. The couple of naps he managed the previous day had helped but he was sure he could sleep for a whole year and still be tired at this point.

Yesterday it really hit him just how much he was moving and constantly going. The little break at Kota's was more of a lifesaver than the guys would ever know. It wasn't a full break but it was everything.

Lach had so much going on and had helped so much during the initial transition. Miles knew with school and helping his grandma he couldn't also help Miles constantly with the kids.

And he had it pretty well most days-but school was where he was faltering. Trying to juggle it and the kids were leaving him feeling entirely too disorganized and rushed.

Once he left Kota's to pick up the twins from practice, he had to cook dinner, and then after that, it was bath time. He didn't even attempt to get homework done. He let himself fall asleep with the kids when he put them to bed.

Thankfully the twins had been super helpful in setting the table and cleaning it. The whole thing needed a whole scrub however-he didn't realize how many dishes added up when you had bottles, three meals a day, and if you're cooking? Pots and pans, baking sheets, he mentally promised himself that this weekend would be the one where he pulled himself together.

He'd go shopping-properly-not just picking up a meal for a night or take out again he'd fully clean. Although he was certain that laundry would forever grow.

How did his parents do this? Miles thought again, clenching his fists slightly. They may not have had all the answers but they were always there. Always constant. he could hear his mom's voice-calm even in the chaos. Gentle and reassuring. And his dad? A steady force making everything look easy.

Miles swallowed thickly, here he was barely keeping it together. The kids probably thought so lowly of him. He couldn't let anyone know how hard he was struggling. No one could know. He just had to keep moving, keep pretending. Because honestly? The moment he stopped-even if only for a second-he wasn't sure just what would happen.

And that scared him.

"Hey Miles," Corey said, smiling and giving him a little wave. "I heard you and the kids had a fun time at Kota's?"

"Correction a blast," Gabe grinned, "I want to eat your siblings up. They're so cute. We were all trying to be cautious, Willow seemed pretty anxious."

Miles offered a slight laugh, giving them a thankful smile, "It was a nice break. They both had a good time, she's not great about routines changing. Puts her on edge, but you guys were all good with her."

"She's a really smart kid," Luke chimed in watching him closely. "You look like you got more sleep."

Miles's chest tightened at the comment. There was an edge in Luke's voice that made him feel a little uneasy. "I crashed as soon as I picked the twins up," He lied shifting in his seat slightly. The lie left his tongue feeling bitter. He shifted his backpack onto the ground next to him to avoid their eyes. The guys had already dealt with so much with him. He-he wanted them to think he was normal. He didn't want their pity or sad looks. He didn't think he could stand it.