Fan Service [Yunho]

18

When we got to the room, my heart was pounding. I'd only just gotten comfortable with little touches, but even when he'd held my hand I had pulled away. Now I was expected to share a bed with him?

"Which side do you like to sleep on?" he asked, trying to make it as less awkward as possible.

"I...umm..." I blushed shyly as I stared at the bed with its taunting tan and floral embroidered comforter that mocked me. How many pairs of people had shared a bed here without a panic alarm sounding off in their brains?

"Char?" Yunho tried to get my attention, to get an answer despite the fact that I'd lost the ability to speak. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. "You're looking a little pale."

I blinked rapidly, trying to catch up to what he was saying and rejoin the conversation. I wished that I had an on-and-off switch or some kind of reboot button, so I wouldn't just be frozen for so long but finally, I turned to answer, "I never had a bed big enough for different sides. I'll sleep wherever."

Yunho nodded, not judging me just like always, and set his things down on the left side which was closest to him before pulling out his pajamas for the night and toiletry bag.

Meanwhile, I was still standing there like an idiot with my feet glued to the floor. Didn't I just realize I loved him? Why was I still so afraid?

"Would you prefer I sleep on the floor?" he asked, suddenly appearing right in front of me, his chest inches from my face.

I craned my neck to look up at him. It was hard to ignore his warm gentle gaze, the perfect curve of his cupid's bow that lifted to a slight smile when my eyes met his. His body heat radiated off of him and made me feel warm inside, but even more than that, I wanted to not be afraid.

"Before I decide, I want to try something?" I asked him, offering no information on what I had planned.

"Sure," he agreed easily, trusting me completely and giving in to my wants once again.

I took a step back and evaluated how to best go about what I had in mind. I hadn't done this in so long that the idea of it felt awkward and mechanical. Should I make him sit? Was standing better? Would I need to be on my tiptoes? Instead of situating Yunho in a way that might work best, I decided to just trust my instincts and go for it, letting our bodies organically meet as they wanted.

I opened my arms and wrapped them around his torso. As if it were second nature to him (which it probably was since he didn't struggle like I did), he hugged me back.

My cheek melted into his chest where I could feel the steady, if not speedy, thumping of his heart. And his hands clasped behind my back, as he was still being careful not to touch me too much or push me too far.

It was nice. I closed my eyes and breathed him in, really absorbing the moment for what it was. A simple hug, and a massive step for me.

But then, after a while, he pressed his cheek against the top of my head. He sighed in contentment, feeling completely at ease.

I wished I felt the same. My heart was racing for different reasons now. It was fighting with my brain that knew Yunho was safe and trying to protect itself from the pain it was used to. Tears spilled down my cheek, and I hugged him tighter, finding that even though I was afraid, it was like I knew Yunho could make it all better.

"I'm proud of you Charlie," he hummed as he began to rock us back and forth. And the words set my fears free.

"Thank you," I whispered, still trying to be brave. It felt stupid to need courage for a hug, but that's where I was at.

"What do you think?" he asked as he pulled back with a playful smirk to look at me. "Do I need to sleep on the floor?"

I shook my head, ignoring the tiny bit of misguided panic that I still had, "I think the bed is big enough for two."

"Okay," he said, with a glimmer of pride in his eyes. "But if you change your mind that's okay. I won't be upset."

I hugged him again. It felt nice to be held. "Thank you," I told him, breathing in his baby powder smell mixed with chocolate again. Somewhere on his person, there must've been a few abandoned M&Ms.

"Do you want to get changed in the bathroom? I can get ready out here," he offered.

I nodded with a soft smile and headed off to do just that. My pajamas weren't anything special...just some workout shorts and a t-shirt...but they'd do. I also brushed my teeth...for hygiene purposes and not for kissing. I had only just learned to hug and didn't want to get ahead of myself, though the thought did cross my mind. Based on how pretty his lips were, I knew he must be a good kisser...maybe the best.

When I came back out to the room, Yunho had only just put his pants on. They hung low on his hips and on his upper half, he was shirtless. I gasped before I could see anything and turned around while mumbling apologies for walking in on him unexpectedly.

"I'm so sorry!" I told him while squeezing my eyes shut. "I should've knocked."

Yunho chuckled, and I could hear him stepping closer. "Once you're able to help backstage you'll see me shirtless a lot Char. It's fine."

"I will?" I asked, jaw dropping and nearly drooling at the thought.

"Maybe you should see it now, so you're not so caught off guard next time," he suggested, his voice low and close.

The idea made me nervous and excited. My hands felt clammy and my breathing was unsteady.

"O-okay," I stuttered as I reopened my eyes. After a few deep breaths, I turned around slowly, wincing as if in pain. I felt a little uncomfortable but knew he was right. This was a better place for me to explore what it would be like to see him.

And when I did...my heart stopped...
Yunho was beautiful.

He wasn't some fake, constantly duplicated statue with a 6 pack and muscles carved by the gods...

No... Yunho was real. Really real.

He looked soft and comfortable. And his muscles while still there weren't so noticeable that it was for vanity. He had a little belly from all the chips we'd eaten in the car, and yet his collarbones and shoulders were still well-defined from years of dancing. His body told a story. And that story was that Jeong Yunho valued a happy life. He valued good food and dancing. He valued cleanliness and being healthy. And from his necklace, I knew he was religious. But from speaking with him, I knew he didn't judge. He was open and accepting, and I couldn't stop analyzing.

"Well?" he asked when I'd been quiet for so long, too busy staring and memorizing every inch of him.

Only one answer came to mind. "You're perfect," I breathed honestly. I wasn't capable of lying to him right now or holding back the way he made me feel.

"I wouldn't say..." he began but I cut him off with another hug.

This time I could feel the smile on his face without even looking. And when he pressed his chin to sit on the top of my head, I swore I felt a kiss.

Being hugged by him when he was shirtless was different. It was warmer and softer... and so much closer. I had never felt this close to someone before.

"I wish I could sleep standing up," I confessed with a yawn. I never wanted the hug to end.

"Me too," he murmured. And for the first time, when he stroked his hand down my back, I couldn't help but sigh in contentment too.