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Panic

Maya was on her way home, her ponytail swinging from side to side as she jogged back through the park, towards their apartment building.

The events of the last few hours were racing through her mind.
How could she have gotten this upset and loud when she knew exactly that there was a possibility that Elli could have heard them?
Was there any way to fix this?
Why did she always have to ruin things with her stupid outbursts?
Mayas heart started racing, not because of the jogging, that was barely exercise to her.
No, this was a different kind of a racing heart.
Her breath became laboured and her vision blurry as she stopped next to a park bench, reaching her hand out in an attempt to steady herself.
She managed to sit down and place her head in her hands bevor her head started spinning.
She sat there a few seconds, hyperventilating, trying to apply all the techniques Diane had tought her in case of panic attacks.
She got her breathing under control after a while and reached for her phone, hands still shaking and heart still pounding.

Carina had gone to Ellis room after talking with Maya on the phone, and the two of them were now sitting on the floor, puzzleing.
"When is Maya coming back?"
Elli asked tentatively.
"She just went to take a walk, she'll be here in no time."
Carina wasn't sure about her own words, she just hoped that Maya was about to step into the elevator of their apartment building right now, to come home to them.

Just a few minutes later, she heard her phone ring again.
"I'll just go get that." She forced a smile for Elli, not wanting the girl to sense how concerned she was.
Carina reached her phone in the living room and turned it over, fully expecting Mayas name to pop up.
But it wasn't Maya.
It was Andy.
Carinas breath hitched as she picked it up.
"Hi Andy" She tried to sound okay, even though she definitely wasn't.
"Carina, I don't want you to freak out okay?"
The Italian immediately interrupted.
"What do you think is gonna happen if you start like that huh?"
Andy shivered a bit, nobody liked it when the Italian got angry.
"I'm sorry Carina, but you need to listen to me. Maya called, I don't know what happened exactly, but all I got is that she's having a panic attack somewhere in a park and she doesn't want me to call you because...
...I don't know why, actually. She just mumbled something about you being mad at her. But I thought you should know."
Carina ran her hand through her hair while listening to her.
"Thank you for calling me Andy. I know where she is, but I can't leave the apartment right now. We had a fight and the bambina heard Maya say some horrible things, I can't leave her here alone."
Andy took a few seconds before replying.
"I think it's really bad this time Carina, she sounded so out of it. I could come over and watch the little one, I've been dying to meet her anyway.
Maya needs you, I don't think I can help her right now."
Carina was pacing around the living room by now.
"Okay, Sí!" She said definitely.
"Please come over and please hurry."
Carina breathed out.
"I'll be right over." Andy answered bevor hanging up the phone.

Carina took a couple of deep breaths and tried to compose herself as she walked back towards Ellis room.
"Elli bambina?" She said, trying to conceal her concern.
"Yeah? Is everything ok?"
The girl asked carefully.
"Everything's fine, I just need to go pick up Maya real quick okay?"
Elli looked up at her for a few seconds before replying.
"Can I come?"
Carina hadn't excepted this.
"I'm sorry tesoro, but this is something for grownups to handle."
Elli looked to the ground.
"But you won't be alone. You remember uns telling you about our work friends?"
Carina continued.
Elli didn't answer.
"Well, Andy, she's really nice and she's coming over so you're not alone."
Elli looked up at her foster mom.
Carinas usually so soft and gentle face was different. Her skin was pale and her eyes had no calm in them, even though her mouth was kinda trying to smile.
Something was seriously wrong, and even though she really didn't want to stay here with a stranger, she just nodded.
Carina took a deep breath. "Thank you bambina."

The bell rang and Andy came in to take over. There was only a very brief introduction before carina grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

Maya was still sitting on that bench. She couldn't stop her mind from racing and her head from spinning.
Every now and then she'd realise how she was hyperventilating and take a few shaky but steady breaths, but as soon as her thoughts trailed off, her breathing became erratic again.
She had managed to call Andy and was now waiting desperately for her to arrive.

Her ringing phone pulled her out of her thoughts a bit and she reached for it, seeing her wife's name on the screen.
"Fuck." She whispered.
Andy must have called her.
She picked it up anyway.
"Carina?" Her voice was shaky and quiet.
"Maya, I'm coming to you right now."
"No, I'm sorry. I'm...I'm okay, I'll be fine. You don't have to..."
"Shhhh Maya, try to calm down and take a deep breath for me. I'm not mad, I just want you to be okay."
"I didn't mean what I said..."
Maya replied, ignoring her wife's instructions.
"Maya, I know you didn't. And Elli's fine. You need to calm down now."
The blonde tried. She took a couple of shaky breaths and slowly, unintentionally lowered her phone and took it off her ear, concentrating only on her breathing.
"Maya? Maya! Talk to me please bambina!"
There was no reply.

As soon as Carina had parked the car, she practically jumped out and ran towards the park, scanning each and every bench for her wife.
She finally spotted her, near the ice cream parlour.
She ran to her wife and sat down next to her.
"Maya..."
She started carefully, while taking the blondes hands into her own.
Maya looked up with watery eyes and immediately leaned into Carina, resting her head on the other woman's shoulder.
Carina ran her fingers through Mayas ponytail and spoke softly.
"Everything that happened is fixable. We can talk to Elli and you can explain yourself. I'm sure she'll understand."
Maya just listened.
"You're great with her, you know? I don't tell you that enough. You're an amazing mother bella."
Carina tried to get the blondes mind off the negatives.
They sat there in silence for a bit, Mayas breathing had calmed and the shaking had stopped.
Finally she spoke up.
"You really think so?" Her voice was still a bit shaky.
"Mhm I do." Carina answered confidently.
Maya suddenly realised that the girl, who this was all about, wasn't there with her wife. "Where is she?"
"She's at the apartment with Andy."
Maya nodded at that, grateful for her friendship with her.
"Now, do you think you could go wash your face at that drinking fountain over there, and we can go home?"
Another deep breath, and Maya was getting up.

They drove home in silence, Carinas Hand on Mayas thigh for comfort.

They stepped out of the car once they were at the apartment, Maya still a bit out of it.
"How about you take a nap before you go talk to her?"
Carina suggested. She knew this situation would better be handled if the blonde got some strength back first.

Note:
I'm really, honestly sorry for not updating this in so long and I don't know if I'll get back into writing this. If you have any suggestions about how this could continue, please comment your thoughts.
I hope you have a wonderful day❤️