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CHINA
In the dead of night, it was often just him and his thoughts.

He had always had trouble falling asleep, being able to stay up for exigent amounts of time at once and not being able to continuously shut his eyelids in bed— as opposed to when he did sink into slumber (he would sleep soundly without another bat of an eye). This entire journey had only worsened the affliction; it was too much on his mind, too much to process, too much to take in. Even when there was not another revelation about the very fabric of their world shaking their existence.

But from the staircase, for the first time in around a week since Poland started sleepwalking and China had to amusedly usher him back to bed, there was soft crinkling, and from the wall peeked out a head of blue hair that he would recognize anywhere.

"China," North muttered with relief, his stance un-stiffening. "You're not sleeping again?"

"I've always told you, I can't fall asleep well."

"I know. Just... I thought it would've gotten better."

"Canada's trying to help."

North nodded subtly. "That's amazing. It really does make sense how he did counseling before his life as a Representative." 

China leaned onto the headrest of his spot on the couch as North took the empty space beside him, eyelids fluttering shut for a second. "Why are you awake then?"

"I was just... thinking."

"Thinking?" China raised an eyebrow.

"Thinking," North confirmed, focus fixated on him a second too long before turning away.

"About what?"

North chuckled, looking back. Something about the look on his face was different that night. "Too many things. You must get the feeling."

China nodded, feeling the heat of his gaze on his skin. A moment passed in fleeting silence, until he finally gained the confidence to voice the question on the tip of his tongue — "Are you and South alright now?"

There was a ripple of tension that quickly fled when North had processed the question entirely. "Yeah. I've been wanting to say the things I said to him during dinner today for a long time. It's such a huge, huge burden off my back. I don't have much time to make those years up to him. But I'll do it until my dying breath."

"How sweet," China smiled, eyes crinkling. "I hope things will be better when we get home."

North gave no reply; only looked at him, a riveting regard of gratefulness and unspoken sentiment, dark eyes glassy with emotion in the same way they had shone this entire conversation. Moonlight trickled in through the filtered blinds, stardust and smoky silver beneath the luminescent evening.  "If we get home. I—," he began quietly, and his voice quickly lost its vigor when the first words had left his parted lips.

China's eyes widened. "Are you okay?"

An exhale. Then, North turned his head, and when their eyes met, he wouldn't break the contact for the next five minutes. "I think it's only fit that I say this while I'm willing to admit it. That's what kept me awake this whole night and it was as if fate heard it and made you restless too. If South was enlightened today about my brotherly affection for him that I always hid, I think it's time that... you get the same."

"Huh?"

North's face was pink under the lighting. "China, I wouldn't have ever changed my relationship with my brother if it weren't for you. My whole life, you've done so much for me, from getting me on that first day of school to helping me dye my hair to taking me on this trip that is a nightmare but also the biggest source of my euphoria. You're so amazing," he said, eyes teary for the second time that day. "And the best part of my life is being with you."