Saudade | CountryHumans RusAme

Author's Note.

To all my beloved readers –

I cannot stress my gratitude enough for all of you who have made it this far. It has been one hell of a journey and a ridiculously large development from the impulsive, very trivial thought that was originally this book. Not only was writing this perhaps one of my most enjoyable pastimes for the past year or two, but it was also an opportunity for me to grow my writing abilities and I hope you're able to tell the difference between the first and last chapters. I will remember every single reader I've seen – I am so appreciative of all of the support you have shown <3.

In this Author's Note I'd like to discuss some of the content of Saudade. It'll be long, but I wanted to express my intentions and ideas that I meant while trying to write! Bear with me for one final yap chapter...

Writing this book I had three primary themes clear in my mind: found family, revolt/revolution, and historical censorship. All three are very clearly expressed through the events, or at least there was an attempt. Vietnam/Romania/Switzerland, The Axis, The Main 10, and Colombia and her friend group are all found family. They find parental care and both platonic and romantic affection in each other, enough to pull them through a dark age of rewritten stories. The largest turning point in the book is China's discovery of the brain chip and the consequent acts of resistance that it generates, which build up into a cumulative revolution at the end. And then there's historical censorship, which is the primary concept opposed by the plot. It was very tightly based off the quote "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" by George Santayana, which really fueled the idea that the Representatives needed to learn the truth to prevent a repetition of their belligerent actions.

In some way this is also a call to action. Learn your history. With that knowledge you will be able to apply it to the mark you make in the world, and make sure that it is not similar in nature to other destructive habits of history. We, this current era, make what we see in the textbooks, as much as George Washington and Alexander the Great and Confucius did. It's our job that we leave it side by side with a positive connotation. It's the idea I wanted to express by writing Saudade – without oblivion barricading our way, we, as a society, can advance forward without the fear of falling victim to another cycle.

And subsequently, there are some emotional concepts I wanted to strongly give depictions of throughout the book. Grief: there's a sadness in losing everything you had, in America feeling his vision go hazy and his mind go inactive as he wonders if he could've played things out differently. There's a nostalgia to a place meant for peace and falling into war, a promise never kept, a burden never lost. There's heartache in never being able to define where home truly is. There's blame – Reich always being the person people point fingers to. Romania, Vietnam, Colombia and Switzerland not knowing whether it is in correct nature to think of America and Russia at fault for the wars, when, after all, history is so nuanced. And my favorite – love. Between Representative to Representative, then to person to person, perpetuating cycles of desire and happiness. Love is what keeps people going, whether platonic or romantic, the never-ending support of those around you and their impact on mundane life.

Okay, now, moving onto more specific plot details. I wanted to bring up (with some degree of regret) the fact that this book literally had no planning at the beginning. I, like the idiot I was, balled it almost entirely (at least the first bit). I definitely began to grow the idea more and more and flesh it out in Google Docs as the story progressed. I was like oh, I'm kinda deep into this now. Guuulllpp. For that reason, I didn't really figure out how Representative family lines worked – you get information that the FrUk family was a family before they got sent to Neo for the first time by last names, but as for Soviet's.... we don't talk about it. Russia's motherless atm. Idk maybe they self-reproduce (HELLO??? THEY DEFINITELY DON'T.) So please forgive me for that LOL. If I could change a thing about the plot, I would detail that bit more.

Similar to that, you kind of wonder like, the fuck happened to their families before they became Representatives cause clearly no one was an orphan. I literally don't know what was going on there either because no one even mentions it so you can just ignore that and hope it doesn't exist thanks. Furthermore, the coma. Dawg I'm going to be So for real I could not be assed to write out an entire recovery process so we can all just chalk it up to technological development in this new world.

At the beginning I literally think this book was so different from the final production. There was supposed to be a full fledged war that had something to do with dimension ripping and some really confusing concept of RomaVietSwiss making their own portal and travelling to NYC to meet the others. I scrapped it (clearly enough) but I really do love how the end turned out, much resulting from spontaneity and absolutely winging it.

There is no epilogue. I planned, for a Neo almuni gathering one day with all their real names in the future where they've all pursued their own lives and decide to gather together one day, but I decided ultimately to leave it up to a reader's interpretation. With that being said, I also refrained from posting the 3rd Q&A and will do so in my EXTRAS book. Go check it out later :)

Anyways, one last thank you to all of you!! Especially to those who stuck with me 'til the end. I literally know who you are and you know who you are too. Drop me a social link and let's keep in touch. (I'm @luvrf4re on Discord!!)

With that last bit being said, maybe one day when I look back at my old Wattpad account and the memories I've made and you guys are all long gone into eras of high school and college, I, too, will feel a bit of saudade. A sadness for missing the writing and a happiness for having experienced it all.

Thank you for taking this journey with me ♡