queenie//cashton

day 10- part 2

" yet souls have a reason, and i won't let go. "

calum pov

i hated this new school. 

i hated ashton.

i hated myself.

i hated the toilet paper in the stalls in the boy's bathroom. scratchy toilet paper doesn't make a good tissue when you're sobbing.

how could ashton do something like this? he was the one that came onto me. he was the one who told me he loved me. he was the one who started all this. what kind of person goes through all that trouble if they're just going to throw it all away anyways?

another sob ripped through my body as i looked down at my shoes. i felt so lost without ashton, so worthless.

i heard the squeaking hinges of the bathroom door opening and i tried to quiet my crying. footsteps approached my stall and i froze, terrified.

"cal?"

i sniffled when i heard ashton's voice, trying to contain my tears.

"cal, please come out, i wanna talk," his voice was soft, and i remembered just how much i loved hearing him talk.

i sighed as i stood up, unlocking the door to my stall and facing ashton. i was sure i looked terrible, with puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks, but i couldn't care less.

"calum, i'm sorry," he whispered, reaching for my arm. i flinched and he took the hint, lowering his hand.

"fuck you," i whimpered, having to use all my willpower not to cry on his shoulder. "i actually thought you loved me."

"i do love you! i'm just.. scared."

"of what?" i scoffed. "being bullied? if you loved me, it wouldn't matter. if you loved me, we could have faced it together. you're an asshole, you know that? you could've just told your stupid friends that i was a friend of yours, and told me you were scared. i would have cared. but no, you have to be super perfect cool ashton, and i'd ruin that. that girl in support group was right. and for the record, i saw her this morning. 'never seen her before' my ass." i couldn't stop the tears flowing down my cheeks as i stared at ashton.

"calum, give me another chance," he murmured, his eyes pleading with me.

"okay," i whispered, "here's your chance. tell your friends that we're dating, that you love me."

"calum," he sighed. "you know i can't do that, how would that look to everyone?"

i shook my head, holding back more tears as i forced myself to look away from ashton.

"goodbye ash," i muttered, pushing past him and out the bathroom.

i scurried through the hall, holding back my sobs, just searching for another place to cry.

ashton didn't love me, and i was alone.

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sadness idk this was terribly written soz that is all okay

-gwen xo