Thirteen Summers

twenty-seven

J O S I E

tw: self-induced vomiting.

Life was okay.

School was okay.

Home was okay.

It was okay but it was just that, okay.

I couldn't say it was bad because that was only sometimes, when I got that overwhelming, pressing feeling that seemed to spread through my body.

Followed by me feeling utterly drained.

I couldn't say it was great because nothing bad had happened not since then, since her and that was over a week ago now.

I had friends that I'd met during the first week of school.

New friends.

The little group that had congregated together on the first day quickly dispersed as we all found our people.

Caleb had his group already, a few friends from middle school such as Reece as well as new ones he'd met in classes.

The same was apparent for Aiden, who seemed to know practically everyone.

They'd both made it clear that I was welcome to hang out with them but I had a group of my own, sort of.

Since meeting Kiara on the first day of school, we'd stuck together and I met her friends and they seemed nice.

I think I would've felt awkward hanging around my brother's friends or Aiden's friends like some lost puppy.

I'd feel like a leech but it was different with Kiara and her friends, our friends.

They were all girls for one, which was a nice, refreshing change.

So I'd see my brother in the cafeteria and I'd smile or wave, he'd return it and then I'd go my separate way.

"It's nice to see that you're adjusting so well." The school counsellor, Miss Leyton, commented. "Your brother really wanted to make sure of that especially with the horrible death of your mother."

I was taken aback by that mention, it was unexpected of her and what's worse was that she said it with such a lighthearted tone with that ridiculous smile that never went off her face.

I stayed silent.

"I know it's only the second week of classes but how is that going?"

"They're fine, I guess."

They were for the most part, I wasn't behind in my learning because I'd caught up at summer school and with my study sessions with Roman.

As always, Math was hard and it didn't help that I had the worst teacher for it.

Mr Byron was old fashioned, outdated and just plain rude.

It was hard for anyone in the class to ask for help because he would first berate you and embarrass you before aggressively giving the solution.

He was condescending.

I was actually supposed to be in that class right now but as of this week, I thankfully get to miss the first half of it for this session.

"You know my main priority is to help you succeed in school and thus, your life. Your mental wellbeing is a big part of that so if there's anything— absolutely anything, you can come to me."

"Thank you." I muttered, mustering up a smile.

I didn't want to be disappointed again like I was after grief counselling so I wouldn't be taking her up on that offer.