Thirteen Summers

seven

Content Warning: Themes of bulimia are mentioned in this chapter. I will put an asterisk (*) to notify readers of when this happens. If you struggle with an eating disorder, please do not read ahead past that symbol for your own mental health.

J O S I E

Roman took away my phone that night and forced me to finish the rest of my work. I never got the chance to tell him that it isn't my homework, just extra work I had organised for myself.

I was angry. Angry at him, at Kai. No one allowed me the chance to explain myself, I hated it. It wasn't like this with my mom, she may have been overprotective, she wasn't controlling.

I was being treated unfairly by people who disliked my presence in their household. I wanted to fight back, I wanted to so badly but I still wondered what would happen if I pushed them too far. Would they kick me out? Send me to an orphanage?

I didn't know what they could do.

I could always move back to New York and live with Ella but I had my doubts there too. No matter what she said, she was perfectly fine with me being shipped off to live with strangers, even if we were blood related. I couldn't trust her, not really.

*

So I fought back in my own tiny ways. I tried to skip dinner but of course I had failed because Roman wasn't having it.

This was only amusing to Kai as he smiled smugly, taking pleasure in my suffering. I sent him and Roman subtle glares across the table, whenever they weren't looking.

I had failed so I fought back in my own tiny way, I ate my dinner then I went to my bathroom and I stuck my two fingers down my throat.

I finally stopped when I felt like I'd emptied all the contents of my stomach. I didn't know how long I was in there, all I knew was that my throat burned and I had fought back and it felt good.

I didn't think about whether what I was doing was normal or not, after all it had made me feel better and it was only a one ti- two time thing.

I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I had no phone for the night so I decided to go straight to sleep.

I woke up in a good mood the next morning, the sun shined on me through the gap in the curtains and I saw that my phone had been returned as it lay on my bedside table. I knew today would be a good day.

I got ready for school and was down for breakfast on time. I was looking forward to going to school today and continuing my conversation with Aiden.

I was alone at the table for breakfast, Roman and Kai having already left for the office so I took this time to sneak myself a cup of coffee and nothing more. Mom never allowed me to have any type of caffeinated drinks but Mom wasn't here, neither were any of my older controlling brothers and so I relished in this moment and took my first ever sip of coffee.

It was disgusting. How did people drink this? It was bitter and vile, I forced it down anyways and then wasted time as I stared at the mug, contemplating when I should take the next sip then all of a sudden, it was swiftly taken from my hands.

"Hey!" I whined, I turned behind me to see who the culprit was and I saw my sister.

There was Madison in her fluffy, pink dressing gown over her silk pyjamas, chugging down what was once my coffee. This was probably the first time I'd seen my older sister not looking completely put together, her hair strewn in a messy bun and an exhausted look on her face, still she was beautiful and I envied her, I wished I was nearly as pretty as her.