Self Inflicted

36

I just made it back and have to get ready apparently. There's a party tonight that Deanna's hosting to welcome all of us. Michonne isn't giving me an option to go or not. It's starting to get dark, I took a shower quick and changed into some new jeans and a somewhat nice, red long sleeve shirt. I dried my hair and decided to leave it down, it's very straight and black. I look in the mirror at myself, my features are thinner than they once were and my hair hasn't been cut in a long time, falling just below my chest. Sighing, I head back to our room to grab my boots. Sitting down at the foot of the bed I start putting them on when the door opens. 

"Hey," I give a soft smile to Daryl. 

"Hey," he always sounds like he's mad even when he's not. He's sweaty and covered in dirt. 

"Any luck?" I am referring to the fact that he went hunting. 

"Nah, me and Aaron tracked down a horse. Didn't get it in time though," he drops down on the bed next to me. 

"Shit, I'm sorry," I shake my head. 

"S'alright," he mumbles. 

"Are you going to the party?" I turn to him and he's laid back with his feet hanging off the bed, his arms behind his head. 

"Aaron told me to," he scoffs. 

"Michonne told me to," I chuckle and pause for a few seconds. "What if we try it, if we don't like what we see, we can leave. It won't hurt my feelings if we don't make it inside." 

"Fine," he huffs and sits up. 

-

I got Daryl dressed into something other than blood-soaked clothing and we walked down the street. It's dark now, Deanna's house is lit up and it's erupting with noise. We walk closer and through the front window we can see a ton of people, all stacked up together like sardines, talking and laughing. Almost everyone has a drink in their hand, dressed up in dresses and button down shirts, and I can hardly see any of our people. 

"Nah," Daryl shakes his head and turns to walk back to the house. I follow right along in agreement, that looks ridiculous. 

"Daryl." He stop in his track and we both look up at the porch of the house in front of us. "Hey," Aaron is standing on his porch, hands in his pockets. 

"Thought you were going to that party over there," Daryl grumbles. 

"Oh, I was never going to go 'cause of Eric's ankle, thank God." 

"Why the hell did you tell me to go, then?" he snaps. 

"I said try, you did. You both did," he glances over at me. "It's a thought that counts thing."

"Alright," he begins walking off and I start to follow but Aaron stops us again. 

"Hey, you guys come in. Have some dinner," Daryl says he's good but Aaron insists. "Come on, man. It's some pretty serious spaghetti."

-

They have us seated at the table and eating spaghetti off of proper plates and using forks, Daryl isn't used to using utensils I'm sure. He's slurping the spaghetti into his mouth and absolutely shoveling it down, making the most noise possible. I sit across from him and next to Aaron, watching him and trying not to laugh as I eat the complete opposite. 

He sucks up his last few noodles and wipes his face quickly. "Thanks," he grumbles, preparing to leave already. 

Eric clears his throat and speaks up as Daryl acts like he's standing up. "Mmm, when you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs. Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker. And we're really trying to get her to shut up about it." He chuckles and shares glances at all of us. "I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something. I really just think she just wants something to talk about, so... if you see one out on your travels, it would go a long way to..." him and Aaron share a look.

"I thought it was done," Eric seems confused. "You didn't ask him already?" 

"Ask me what?" Daryl is thrown off. Aaron has us follow him to his garage, we walk in and there's a bike with pieces strewn all across the floor and benches. 

"When I got the place, there was that frame and some parts and equipment. Whoever lived here built them." 

"It's a lot of parts for one bike," Daryl gestures and starts picking around at parts. 

"Whenever I came across any parts out there, I brought them back. I didn't know what I'd need. I always thought I'd learn how to do it, but I get the feeling you already know what to do with it. And the thing is, you're going to need a bike."

"Why?"

"I told Deanna not to give you a job because I think I have one for you. I'd like you to be Alexandria's other recruiter. I don't want Eric risking his life anymore."

"You want Daryl risking his instead?" I pipe in, standing next to Daryl and examining the bike. 

"Yeah, because he knows what he's doing," he looks from me to Daryl. "You're good out there. But you don't belong out there. I know it's hard getting used to people getting used to you. And I understand right now you need to be out there sometimes. So do I." I look at Daryl and he chews at the inside of his lip, probably uncomfortable that someone is reading him so well. 

"But the main reason why I want you to help me recruit is because you do know the difference between a good person and a bad person."

"I got nothing else to do," Daryl shrugs. 

-

When we were walking out Aaron said thank you and Daryl told him he'd get him some rabbits. We walk down the road and I glance back at the house, lights still on inside. "I like them," I give a small smile. 

"They're aight," he shrugs.

"Oh, you like them. Quit acting so tough," I bump his arm and he scoffs. We walk into the house and Daryl goes into the bedroom, I kick off my boots and look at him. 

"I'm going to take a shower and then I'll come to bed," he nods and I head in for my shower. 

-

 After wringing out my hair, I wrap the towel around me and go to reach for clothes. Clothes that I forgot to grab, so all I have are my dirty ones. Shit. I open the door to the bathroom and peak my head out, checking in both directions and seeing no one. I tiptoe barefoot down the hall and open the door to our room. Daryl is now on the bed, his side I suppose, and looks half asleep. He looks up at me but quickly changes his eyes down to his hands, avoiding me. I almost laugh at him. 

"I forgot clothes, I'm sorry." I walk to the dresser in the room, pulling out some clean pajama shorts, shirt, and undergarments. I turn around and Daryl flicks his eyes away quickly. "Daryl?"

"Hmm?" 

"You're allowed to look, I won't bite," he scoffs but does look up at me. I walk over to his side of the bed straddle him, as I've done many times before. Just never done it almost naked. He looks extremely nervous and it's kind of cute. I lean forward, his hands haven't touched me, they're just laying at his side. I kiss him, very soft and slowly. I pull away and he is staring at me, as always he is biting the inside of his lip, his mind is going round and round. "Do I make you nervous?"

He nods but tries to avoid my eyes. I grab his hand and put it on my right leg, pushing it up the towel and on my ass. Daryl looks like he wants to escape or tear me apart, maybe both. I go to kiss him again, but he grabs my waist on both sides and tosses me on the bed beside him. He shoots straight out of bed and doesn't give me another glance. "I'm goin."

He left and shut the door behind him. He left me on our bed, only in a towel, and absolutely baffled. What the hell has happened to this man?