Self Inflicted

44

I stand in the upstairs of Jessie's house wearing a bed sheet covered in blood. I watch everyone else through slitted eyes. Ron and Sam look the worst, like if they breathe too much they'll throw up. It's either this or become dinner. The smell is awful, it radiates from every one of us. This is the only way. 

Hand in hand, we walk together through the dead. I know I've done it before but not with this many dead. One wrong move, there will be fifty of these things after you. I hold tightly to Michonne's hand and she onto Gabriel's as we navigate, Rick leads us through. The walkers wander, with constant, deafening breathing that chills me to my core. 

They bump against us as we move through, some startle slightly and turn. Dead eyes search mine and I avoid the contact, continuing to move. Rick leads us down to a valley near the pond in the center of town. To get to the armory, we have to go across the town. The streets are absolutely filled with walkers. We circle up and Rick talks in a hushed tone. "Alright, new plan." 

"Flares from a few guns aren't enough. Too many walkers, too spread out. We're not going to the armory. We need our vehicles back at the quarry," he's looking between all of us and I'm nodding with him. "All of us drive. We'll need to round 'em up. We leave, we come back."

"Okay," Jessie nods but looks at Carl who has Judith tucked under his sheet, carrying her. "But Judith... to the quarry and back, I..." Gabriel finish her thought. 

"I'll take her. Keep her safe in my church until you all lead the walkers away," he looks confident, possibly the most I've seen from him. 

"Can you do this?" Rick doesn't trust him, especially after the stunts pulled with Deanna. It's his kid after all. 

"I'm supposed to. I have to. I will," he's ensuring the worried father. Right now, Rick doesn't have much of a choice. Carl shifts in front of Gabriel, slyly lifting the sheet to pass Judith off to Gabriel. Judith makes a little noise and Gabriel hushes her softly. 

"Take Sam," Jessie brings the boy with dirty, blonde hair forward. 

"No." She crouches in front of the boy who shakes his head furiously. 

"Yes, Sam, it'll be safer."

"I'm not leaving you," the two go back and forth a few more times and Jessie caves. I'm not sure why. This is too much for a kid like him. 

-

It's dark now. One thing about the dead, good and bad, they move slow and we're all trying to stay together. It's taking forever but we are making headway. We trudge along and suddenly, someone stops. Then we all stop. I look forward to Jessie and Sam. Sam is frozen, staring, and his mother is trying to quietly keep him moving. 

We're starting to draw attention as she and Rick plead with Sam, then Ron starts to as well. His mother holds his hand and pulls, but to no prevail. "I need you to come with me. I need you to be strong." I can hear the pain and worry in her voice as attention is drawn and walkers start turning toward us. 

"Sam--" Ron's plead is cut off by two walkers, on each side of Sam, that tear into him and he screams helplessly. The boy falls to the ground with the walkers and Jessie holds onto her boy's hand, sobbing. 

"Jessie. Jessie." Rick is calling for her and Carl pulls at her other arm. 

"No." She's hysterical and more walkers are coming. 

"Jessie. Jessie. Come with us. Come on. We have to go," Rick is pleading, his voice cracking. Walkers get her too, but when she gets taken down she doesn't scream. Her eyes are empty. 

"Dad," Carl is calling for Rick. Then I see why, Jessie's hand won't let go of his arm. He's tugging and tugging, trying to break free. More walkers are upon us. I go behind Carl to kill a few.