Self Inflicted

38

I set out to check on Tara, see how she's holding up. Pete has been hiding in the house they moved him to after he patched up Tara. I walk in and it seems to be that Abraham and Eugene are hashing out their issues. Rosita is putting some things away, the boys sit at Tara's bedside. 

"How's she doing?" I'm asking Rosita, she gives me a small smile. 

"She's stable, just hoping she'll wake up soon," she's talking quietly because the boys are fixing things amongst themselves. 

"What happened to Tara, is the exact reason that they need us here. We know how it is out there, we're good out there. These people think everything will just go away if they hide behind the walls." 

"Yeah, it's a good thing we're here."

-

I made it to the meeting, it's not a huge one but it's taking place outside with a few fires burning in barrels or trash cans to keep us warm. Winter is approaching, the nights are getting chillier. People gather around, in chairs or standing, covering themselves with blankets or heavy coats. Deanna stands at the front of everyone and we're surrounded by stone walls. I stand next to Maggie and Michonne, wrapping my blanket around my body. 

"We're going to start," she announces to us, her breath rolls through the air and dissipates. 

"Can we wait?" Maggie speaks up. "There's still people coming." 

"Glenn, Rick." Now Michonne speaks up, backing up Maggie Rhee. 

"We're going to start, it's already dark," the red-headed woman points out. "We're going to talk about what happened. Not the fight. Not what precipitated it. We're dealing with that. We're going to talk about one of our constables, Rick Grimes." She is scanning the crowd, my eyes flicker to Jessie who has a bruised eye, something that happened during Rick and Pete's brawl. 

"We're going to talk about how he had a pistol he stole from the armory, about how he pointed it at people. And we're going to talk about what he said. I was hoping he'd be here," she looks over to the few of 'our' people standing together. 

"She said he's coming," Maggie once again defends. 

"I'm sure he'll be here. And I'm sure we can work this all out," Carol pretends to be so fragile, smiling at these people. 

We were asked to share testimonies on Rick's behalf. Michonne started, "And after being out there and then not being how you were out there...it can drive you crazy. Rick just wants his family to live. He wants all of you to live. Who he is is who you're gonna be... if you're lucky." 

"Rick Grimes saved my life over and over. There's terrifying people out there. And he rescued me from them. People like me, people like us need people like him. I know what happened last night was scary. And I'm sure he's sorry for that. But maybe we should listen to what he was saying," Carol lays it on thick. Now, it's my turn. 

"Rick didn't know me or Michonne when he met us. He could've turned us away, stolen the things we had and killed us, or left us to be killed. But he didn't. Instead, Rick Grimes had us patched up, fed us, and began trusting us. We all became family, Rick is like a brother to me," I look around to the few people I can see. 

"I have watched Rick grow and change with this world, we all have. But we have all grown with him, too. It may not always seem like the right thing, or maybe he goes about things wrong, but he does what needs to be done. And I think we all owe Rick our lives at one time or another." 

Maggie goes next, talking about Hershel and Rick, explaining that we are all family. Abraham also had a turn, we all shared at least a little bit about how amazing Rick truly is. Deanna steps forward again after everyone has finished. "Before we hear from anyone else, I--I would like to share something in the spirit of transparency."