Spinning Out || w o o s a n ||

❄11❄

Wooyoung keeps his head low as he tries to ignore the heavy and suffocating silence along with the pain in his biceps, as Yeosang cleans his cuts. He can feel the disappointment radiating from his best friend while the older gently taps the rubbing alcohol into his newest addition to the collection. When Wooyoung dares to even flinch, he is welcomed by a stingy glance coming from the older. He's ashamed, embarrassed, confused, lost in his own thoughts, all over the place, a big fucking mess, and he knows very well Yeosang knows too. They don't need to talk for the older to know almost everything, because, just as always, Wooyoung is one open book. He looks at his red socks, head kept low, hip resting by the sink behind, arms limp as he listens to the unfolding silence.

It's been less than three hours since whatever happened between him and San and truthfully speaking, he was not able to finish his practice at all. He almost tripped and almost sprained his ankle, his healthy one, his mind constantly spun around, everything around him made him go dizzy and all he saw was San skating around, glancing at him all the fucking time and the panic and anxiety from before sent him on a short trip to Yeosang's home.

San still loves him, just like he did seven years ago and it just feels so fucking surreal, like a long never-ending dream. He's still that boy who fell in love first and once again Wooyoung is in the uncomfortable position of keeping him waiting for a response. Only that, this time, he does not have a response and he's not sure if he will ever have one. His mind is a fucking mess, he doesn't even want to talk about his heart and he just doesn't know what to think anymore. If things were messy after what San said to him that night, now it's ten times worse, because his words are still too fresh, they were not even drunk to begin with and...

He sighs and pinches his cheek until his skin burns.

"What the fuck happened?" Yeosang finally decides to break the silence once he's done wiping his cuts.

Wooyoung doesn't want to meet his eyes. It's enough that Yesoang's shocked eyes from when he saw what he did to himself, again, still haunt him. And Yeosang knows what these cuts mean, he knows why he did it, he knows because he once told him, some years ago, that he cuts himself on his biceps because of one fucking reason, who now, three hours ago, confessed to him, grabbed his wrist, pulled him closer and looked at him with so much hope. Wooyoung never knew a pair of eyes could hold so much hope in them.

"Too much." The younger mumbles.

Yeosang clicks his tongue as he starts bandaging his right bicep.

"You only cut yourself when it's related to him." The word pushes heavy against his eardrums. Wooyoung feels his cheeks grow warm. "You stopped cutting yourself here last year." Once he's done wrapping his right arm, Yeosang shifts in front of him so he has access to the left one. "Something happened. What?"

Wooyoung finds some courage to look up and he almost sighs when he finds Yeosang already looking at him. He owns that worried look of his, which silently tells him he has no option but to spill everything out.

"That night, when we spent it here..." He looks away. The images are back in his mind, roaming around freely. In one he is kissing San back, in another one he leaves a trail of hickeys down his neck, in another one San is crying, and before he knows it, he groans and almost hits his head to the mirror behind. "We kissed." Yeosang makes zero sounds, but Wooyoung feels him flinch. When his eyes meet his best friend's again, he almost chuckles. Cheeks grow warmer, and he needs to bite his lower lip to prevent himself from laughing. Yeosang is in utter shock, dark eyes wide, mouth a little open. "We made out actually."

"You ate each other's faces in my living room?"

At this remark, Wooyoung giggles and for a little second, he forgets about his worries. He's missed these kinds of talks and reactions if he's being honest, but then reality strikes him quicker then expected and his smile drops.