The Convict

The Tiger

I don't like the way they look at me when they know I am seeing her again. Their eyes judge me, pity me, look down on me as if I am a helpless child. But I'm not. I chose to hide Dakota from the law. I chose to get back with her. I am the one responsible for the current situation I am in. I am not a child who wasn't aware of the consequences of my actions. I knew full well where this road could lead me.

Yet I chose to walk it anyway.

The Tiger

It takes a lot of convincing to finally get Berinda and Lesly to go and leave me alone. They stayed with me for a few hours after breakfast, but after much nagging, they finally left. Leaving me alone with Dakota.

"Are you scared of me again?" Dakota asks as the two of us lay down to take a nap.

She's been strangely quiet all morning. I know she's still trying to get used to being around other people, but this quiet has me worried. It's that cold look in her eyes, the way she follows my every move. That blank uninterested look on her face. I don't know what yet, but I know she's scheming something up in that hard head of hers. Planning something, or thinking about planning something. Something bad.

I turn my head to look her in those dangerously blue eyes.

She moves closer to me, pulling me into her arms possessively.

"There is a part of me that will always be afraid of you," I answer her honestly.

She frowns and uses the tip of her finger to brush my hair out of my face.

"What are you thinking about?" I decided to ask her outright.

Her eyes scan my face before settling on my lips, to avoid answering she leans in and kisses me softly.

"I love you," she says softly.

"I love you too," I reassure her.

"I know you kissed Bernida again," she says.

I feel my heart skip a beat in fear.

She has that look on her face, that cold scary look that transports me back to that house, to that room.

For a moment we just stare at each other in silence.

"How do you know that?" I finally ask.

"It was written all over her face. It doesn't take a mind reader to figure it out. When did it happen?" she pushes.

"At the hospital." I avert my gaze.

"Why?"

"Are you mad at me?" I can't keep my voice from sounding small, insecure.

"I don't want you kissing anybody but me," she says seriously.

"It was just a moment. I tried to break up with her. I've been trying to push her away and make her stay mad at me but it's impossible. She refuses to let me go, let us go. She's even willing to put up with you just to be with me," I explain.

"She can't have you, you belong to me." Dakota runs her hand across my neck.

To an outsider, the gesture would have been seen as sweet and loving. The way she ran her hand along my neck could have been mistaken for a move one makes before leaning in for a kiss. To me, the message was clear, a warning, a reminder of who she is and what she is capable of.

"Don't hurt her," I beg.

"Don't make me," she says before kissing me, roughly, passionately.

Her hand squeezes the back of my neck, holding me in place, forcing me to reciprocate the kiss.

"Mmm, my face hurts," I try to pull back.

She rolls on top of me, pinning me down, kissing her way down my neck.

"Dakota, stop, I'm too injured." I try to wiggle free.

She doesn't listen, her hands rake over my body before she wraps them around me and lifts me, pulling me by my back into her embrace.

"Ah! Stop! That hurts!" I push her away.

She finally pulls back and stares at me, the darkness swirling in those cold blue eyes.

I sit up and stare at her.

The two of us are locked in a battle of wills. She's testing me, seeing if she has the power to revert me to the way I was. Back to when she controlled me, back when I couldn't breathe without her permission. If I give in now, she'll know just how much power she still holds over me. A move that could lead the two of us back down a dark and dangerous road.

A road I promised myself I'd never walk again.

I can't let her control me.

"Don't make me hurt you," I warn her.

I watch her deflate with a sigh and finally avert her gaze, giving in to me once more.

She's like my pet, except she's no dog or cat, she's a wild animal. A tiger that can turn on me at any given moment. For now, she lets me play tiger tamer, lets me think I have control, but like all wild animals she is capable of turning back to her true nature at the drop of a hat. I have to keep her on a short leash, have to crack the whip once in a while to force her back into her cage. If I show her even an ounce of fear, she'll pounce.

"What's gotten you all riled up?" I run my hand through her hair, trying to calm her down.

"This morning... You were scared of me. You ran from me. But when Bernida got here... she knew what to do, what to say, she held you. You needed her, not me." She clenches the bed sheets in her hand.

"My head is all jumbled right now. I'm seeing Antonia again. Having nightmares and panic attacks. I'm a mess right now. Bernida and Lesly have been there for me these past few years. They make me feel safe. Remind me I'm not crazy. You... You have the opposite effect. You make me feel like this is all so insane. You and me... it's just... crazy," I explain.

"I want you to feel safe around me too," she says softly, her true vulnerabilities showing through.

"After everything we've been through... I don't know if I can," I say honestly.

She sighs in defeat once more before getting up and leaving the room.

I sigh and turn away from the door, my hand rubbing my neck absently.