ᵒᵘʳ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ ʰʷᵃ | ˢᵉᵒⁿᵍʰʷᵃ ᵃᵘ

•23 - end•

Seonghwa pov:

Because I'm crying in the corner, I dont hear someone enter. I only notice once I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up and see Jongho through clouded eyes. I instantly begin to cry harder, flash backs to last time and anxiety consuming me. My head feels so fuzzy that I can't form any coherent thoughts or words, not sure of what to do other than cry until it all goes away. 

Throught the tears, I process Jongho trying to speak to me. "Hwa, baby? Listen to my voice," he gentle grabs my hand, "I need you listen to me so carefully okay? Nod for yes okay?" I make out what he says between sobs and I nod, so he continues. "I need you to start taking deep breaths with me so you can calm down slowly," I give another nod, "Now, follow me, in.... and out...." Jongho breathes and I try and follow. I'm still crying hard, a headache forming mixing with my fuzzy mind. I take a slow breath in and then out, trying to calm my crying. Jongho breathes along with me, holding my hand through it. As I breathe the tears slowly stop and I become aware of how small I feel. 

"Do you feel calmer now Hwa?" Jongho asks as he looks me in my eyes, his soft brown eyes making me calm more. I give a little nod, still non-verbal. "Okay, good. Now are you little? I need to know so I can keep you safe," he says softy, I nod, and hid a little feeling slightly embarrassed. "Hwa, bunny, dont hide. You don't need to be embarrassed, you are safe with me this time. It's not the same, okay?" Jong says, bringing me into his lap for a cuddle. I makes me feel safe and my anxiety starts to slowly leave, even if I stay non-verbal. 

We stay cuddled, for what seems like forever, until I hear voices enter and grow close. I begin to shuffle and panic again. Jongho notices this immediately, "shh bunny, don't worry it's just the group." He softly says patting my head. I still panic as I'm not as comfortable with them all seeing me negatively regressing yet, so I try to get out of Jongho's grip to hide but he keeps his hold on me. Because I begin to panic again I get a bit teary and I cant hear much around me. Until I feel something else in my arms instead of Jong's hand. It is soft and pulls my hearing back. "love, here's toothless for you. Stay calm, you don't need to worry around the guys. They aren't close, they are just packing our stuff away so we can go home." Jongho says, as I look at him with a mixed expression. I smile at the comfort yet give a confused look. I didn't pack any comfort items. 

It's like Jongho can read my mind, "I brought him with me if your confused. I saw you left your comfort items so I grabbed one so you could have it on the way home, but I'm glad I had it for you now" He explains, giving a soft smile. I feel my heart swell with happiness and my negative regression slowly starts to turn into a positive one. My brain seems to muster up some words and I say "fanks dada..." Its so quiet that not even a mouse may of heard it but Jongho looks at me smiling and brings me in close. 

We stay like that again for a little while, while the other members pack up everything and get out of their interview clothes. "Hwa, lets get you up and into your comfy clothes okay? and then we can head straight back," Jong says trying to get me up. I nod and slowly get up with the help of him. He grabs my bag and we make our way to the bathroom. "Do you want help changing bun?" He says. I nod shyly yet again, which makes him softly chuckle. Jong grabs my comfy clothes out my bag and begins changing me. I help by lifting my arms and legs as we go. "Hwa take a seat on the toilet so I can take off your makeup for you." He leads me to sit and I melt from exhaustion once I sit. Thank god I wore my comfortable clothes this morning, I think. My eyes droop shut as Jongho softly removes my makeup and gives my hair a brush so it isn't tangled from hair spray. I smile at the soft acts, melting into the safe space Jong has created. 

In the distance I hear a voice approach, "Jongho, the cars are ready so we can go back to the dorm," it's Hongjoong talking saying we can finally go home, "I've grabbed all yours and Hwa's stuff so you can just get in the car." "Okay, thank you Hyung, we'll come now," Jongho responds. I'm so sleepy and worn out I feel like I can't walk so I seem to just about shyly squeak out what I want. " mmm... dada... cans yous cawy mi?" I hide my blushing face and sleepy eyes. "Bun, of course I can," He says, walking over and scooping me up bridal style and holding me close to his chest. I nuzzle my face in his shoulder as he carries me to the cars and safely gets in with me, softly manoeuvring me so I can lie on his lap. Its a longer drive back, so I fall asleep with Jong running his hands through my hair and cuddling me close. 

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Jongho pov:

I'm sat in the car with Hwa asleep on my lap after carrying him here so we can get home. In front of me is Yeosang and Hongjoong watching over us carefully. "You guys are so cute," Yeo finally says after staring for what seems like most of the car ride. I smile at his comment. "What happened when you went to find Hwa after he ran out? It looks like it went well, he seems much calmer," Hongjoong enquires. I look at him as I run my fingers through Hwa's hair. "Well after Hwa ran out, and you told me to go to him, I was unsure of what to do. But as soon as I saw him crying, a caring instinct seemed to take over and I just wanted to make everything better..." I let out a little sigh and smile weakly, "I'm glad I was able to do it well and I make him safe. It honestly makes me so happy and it reassures me that I can be his primary caregiver amongst us." I say sincerely, the two in front of me smiling. "I'm glad, and we are both here to also be Hwa's caregivers when you aren't around or need a brake. We're a team," Hong says and Yeosang nods along agreeing. "Thank you hyung." 

We sit in a comfortable silence until I start to wonder what happened with the interview after I left as they came back only around 10 minutes after I left. "Hyung? What happened with the interview after I left? Did you all carry on?" I question. Yeo looks at Hong with a worried look and I instantly know something happened and they definitely didn't carry on the interview. "Well... after you left the interviewer carried on with his rude remarks about Hwa and that sent me over the edge of my anger so I shouted at him..." Hong explains, chuckling and flushing red. "But then I collected myself and said I would talk with our manager and the interviewers to sort this all out and said we were leaving. I think I left them a bit stunned but it was worth it for Hwa," he smiles. I smile and chuckle at our captain, glad we have such a great leader that will do anything for us. "I'm glad you put him in his place hyung, what he was doing was uncalled for," I say with a nod of respect. "I know, I'm going to sort I all out tomorrow with the manager and staff. But I also was able to get us a week off because we need it after everything." Hong says back. 

Me and yeo look at him with surprised but thankful eyes. "Hyung that's amazing , thank you," Yeo says giving him a pat on the shoulder. "yeah thank you, I think Hwa will appreciate it the most," I say smiling and looking back down to the sleeping bunny on my lap cuddling his toothless teddy and humming contently as he sleeps. He really is the cutest, even if he is little or not. 

We all sit in a nice silence for the rest of the car ride home, all looking on our phones and occasionally showing each other something funny or cute we had seen. Hwa slept on my lap the whole way back, with me petting his hair and cuddling him periodically so he felt safe. Once we arrive at the dorm I scoop him up again and carry him in trying not to wake him. I go straight to his room and lay him down. Luckily his clothes are comfy enough to sleep in. As I go to leave to freshen up as I didn't change before I hear a small voice, "downt weve mi'... pwease jongie..." I turn back to Hwa and see his sleepy eyes staring at me and a pout on his face. "bun, I will come back okay? I'm just getting comfortable," I say softly, giving him a pat. He nods, so I leave and quickly freshen up before going back to him. 

I slide under the covers and Hwa instantly cuddles close to my chest. "nu nigwt dada.." Hwa whispers sleepily. "Good night bunny, sleep well," I whisper back, smiling and giving him a small kiss on the forehead. We both begin to drift off, the warmth between us creating a safe space reassuring both of us everything is going to be okay. Even if the future is unsure we are going to get through it together as a team, with our little hwa... 

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a/n

And that's the end!!!! 

Well until I write the epilogue aha.

But I hope you all enjoyed this story. I'm sad this one has come to an end as it was my first story I wrote when I first got into kpop so it it very special to me, especially because Ateez is my ult and my first kpop group I got into. 

Please leave any comments or favourites if you enjoyed. I'd love to know what you all thought! 

Keep your eyes peeled for the epilogue and also for my little one shot book that is being published in the coming days!! 

Remember you are loved and worthy of love!

~ Mel ~