ᵒᵘʳ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ ʰʷᵃ | ˢᵉᵒⁿᵍʰʷᵃ ᵃᵘ

•3•

Seonghwa pov:

We finally all make it out the door on time and get driven to the first interview out of 3 today. My head was still hurting but I ignored it and put on my usual smile for the interview, I can't have anyone worried, especially atiny.

When we got there we all had our makeup done which helped me look normal. We all settle in the chairs and are casually chatting with our interviewer before we start filming. I started to feel okay, especially because the guys were doing most of the talking. Then the camera starts rolling and the questions get going. It all goes smoothly, even when I get asked, "Seonghwa, what do you think is the best part of this album?" And I was able to answer well, no changes in tone in sight, and even able to do something silly throughout with the guys. One interview down.

We finish up, say our thank you's bowing to everyone and make our way back to the van to go to our second interview. My head is still pounding, but everything is going smoothly so I keep going as the last interview is the most important and we're not even close to it. So I just sit, keeping my thoughts under control, not paying attention to any of the guys. All I can think about is being at home, snuggling up to my teddy, being all little, hehe, it would be so nice.

"Hwa, hwaaaa, Seonghwaaaa hyung!" I suddenly snap out of my thoughts to Wooyoung screeching at me, waving in my face. "We're at our next interview, you okay?" Yeosang says softly, interrupting Woo's screech's. "Yeah I'm fine, lets go in," I reply quietly, getting up and walking past them straight to the next interview, quickly pushing little me out of my head. This is getting bad. I've never struggled this much to keep little me at bay while working. But I cant focus on that right now. 

I settle in my seat in-between Jongho and Yeosang, they both look at each other with concern on their faces, and I just know its because if me. I decide to speak up, "Guys, I'm fine I promise. No need to look concerned," reassuring them but also hopefully to take there attention from my weird behaviour. "Okay, if you say so hyung," Sangie replies with a soft smile and so does Jongho. Them damn smiles make me want to slip right here and just be cuddled.... But I quickly shake that out my head as the interviewer starts. 

---

I walk to the van alone to clear my thoughts before the last interview and our performance. I hardly talked in the interview we just did but thankfully no one asked me much, I just listened fondly to my other members. I sit in the van with my eyes closed, waiting for the guys and just thinking about how I can't wait to get home. "Hwa.." I hear a soft voice say beside me. I suddenly open my eyes to see Hongjoong staring at me with a soft gaze. I could melt right now. "Hwa, are you okay? Do you want to go back to the dorm? You look pale and have been out of it all day," he says concerned, giving me a small smile and wrapping his arm around me. God I love when joong is like this... "NO!" I yell slightly, not meaning too as I just wanted to scare myself from slipping. Hongjoong jumps a bit at the sudden loudness. I calm and reply, "No no, I'm fine. and plus this next interview is important, I can rest later." He looks at me still concerned but nods knowing not to push it. Now I'm going to have him watching me too. I let out a sigh as the rest of the guys arrive and get settled in the van for the ride. 

---

We are all in the dressing room changing and getting touch ups for our performance first. We're getting ready to show off our new song Guerrilla so we have to be kind of edgy, but I'm definitely not in that head space. I'm hoping, trying to be "demon" like might push away the cute side seeping through.

We all get back stage and start getting warmed up and hyping each other up, when joong walks over to me again. "Hwa, you sure you can do this. It's okay if you take a break and go home.." he says, concern still plastering his face. I can feel my eyes getting teary, his soft concern is not helping right now. "joongie.." I whisper. Fuck. I hope he didn't hear that. I re-compose myself and turn to him. "Hongjoong, I am perfectly fine, let's do this already okay?" I say in a slightly annoyed tone and walking to the stage with the boys. I see him sigh sadly and get into position as the music starts up.

---

Thankfully the performance went all okay. I channelled my anger and stress from everything into the dance and pushed away the littlespace for now. We get off the stage, get touch ups and go straight into the interview. I'm settled now as I put everything into the performance and I listen to the guys answer all the questions that get thrown our way until the interviewer turns to me.

"So Seonghwa, that performance was awesome and your stage presence is out of this world ! What do you do to get that power in your performance?" They ask with a huge smile. I sit there not knowing what to say, as I know the real answer would expose me and worry the boys more. I can feel my face heat up and my eyes are getting watery again. I suddenly feel the smallest ive ever felt. I just want to go. I'm sat staring , I can hear the interviewer saying my name to get my attention, but I'm just frozen. I can feel all the eyes on me and its making me fold into myself even more. My mind is fuzzy and my eyes gloss over blurring my vision... Suddenly I hear one of the boys talk and one grab my hand, I dont know who spoke as I'm lead out of the interview by one of the guys.... 

Hongjoong's Pov:

All though today I've been worried about Hwa, he doesnt look well and I've tried to get him to go home once now and I'm going to try again now, I dont want him performing. As were warming up I go up to him and try to be as soft as I can, ""Hwa, you sure you can do this. It's okay if you take a break and go home.." concern laced in my words. He's turned away from me for a moment and whispers something under his breath that catches me off guard. No way he just called me joongie. No way, he's never called me that. I brush it off for now as he turns and says that he's okay, to then rush off to the stage. I cant help but sigh. 

The performance goes surprisingly well, Seonghwa smashes it which eases my worry slightly. We all leave the stage and were into the interview straight away. Hwa is quiet but I he is listen to everyone talking and smiling fondly which warms my heart. The interviewer turns his attention to Hwa and asks him about his performance, I look smiling beause im proud of his performance. However my expression changes quickly when I suddenly see a teary Seonghwa, he is frozen in place as the interviewer just keeps saying his name. Major concern washes over me and I speak up. "Well I think that's enough for today, Its been a long day for us all so we better head back. Thank you for your time," I say as professionally as possible and as I glance to Yunho and Jongho signalling too them to take Hwa out the room while I wrap everything up. I know there is something up and I can tell the other guys notice it too...

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a/n !!!!

Hey lovelies !! Hope your enjoying this! Its getting intense now! Hongjoong and Yeosang also know there's something strange going on now too?!! :0 Little Hwa is nearrrr!

Remember you are loved and worthy of love, dont let anyone tell you otherwise!! <3

byeeeeeeeeeeeee

- Mel -