The Bucket List ; LRH

5. Go to a Carnival

I went inside from the beach right before the sunset. Calum and the rest of the guys left a few hours before me and felt bad leaving me by myself, but I insisted that it was fine if they left me, I kind of wanted to be alone. I didn't want to watch the sunset the same day I stayed at the beach all day, because I felt as if that was cheating. I told myself I would not do two things on the list in one day. After collecting my beach stuff, I made my way back home and went right up to my room to shower and cross off spend a whole day at the beach off the list. Spending the whole day in the sun really takes a toll on me, so I slept perfectly throughout the whole night, not waking up once.
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I rolled over and groaned. Waking up in the morning was always a hard thing for me no matter how many hours of sleep I got the night before. I forced myself out of bed and pulled my curtains open before walking downstairs to see what my family was up to. My mother was making breakfast, my father was reading the newspaper and drinking coffee, and Kevin was nowhere to be found.

"Good morning, parents," I said tiredly, plopping down at the table next to my dad. This was a daily thing during the summer. My mom waking up early to cook breakfast and my dad sitting at the table reading the news. We never did this during the rest of the year since everyone was too busy with work and school. That's one of the main reasons I love coming here, we have nothing to worry about, it's a stress free zone.

"Morning, sweetheart," my mom smiled sweetly at me. "What are your plans today?"

"I'm not sure," I shrugged. "Where's Kevin?"

"He's next door at Cate's," my dad answered, not taking his eyes off of his newspaper.

"I haven't been over there since Caroline died. I think I might stop by and look around her room."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Erin? When you went into her room back in New York you were a mess."

"Well that was right when I found out. I think I've cried all my tears out at this point," I stood up from the table and made my way to the front door. "I'll be back soon."

I shut the door behind me and looked across the street at the Hood's household. Calum, Luke, Michael, and Ashton were outside playing two on two basketball. Michael saw me and yelled my name as he waved to me. "Hey guys!" I waved and smiled before walking across my lawn to the Kirker's house. I knocked and waited for someone to answer the door. Lucille opened it and smiled at me.

"Why did you knock, Erin? You know this is just as much your house as it is ours."

"I know, I just... Thought I should since Caroline isn't here anymore."

"Oh sweetie," Lucille pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back. "You're more than welcome to walk in whenever you want. Even if we're not here, you know where the key is."

"Thanks Lucille,"

We walked inside and I followed her into the kitchen. "So what brings you here?"

"I haven't been here all summer and I just wanted to go upstairs to Caroline's room and look around. You know? I just miss her and want to get as close to her as possible."

"I understand sweetie," Lucille smiled at me. "Go on upstairs. Take as much time as you need."

I thanked Lucille and walked upstairs as slow as I could. Once I reached Caroline's door I thought it was a bad idea, but I realized I had to do this. I had to eventually step foot in her room, so why not now? I opened Caroline's door with shaky hands and stepped inside, a feeling of nostalgia hitting me as I looked around the room. It was so weird being in here without her. I've done it plenty of times, but I knew she would be back shortly, this time she wouldn't be back. Ever. I slowly walked around her room and smiled sadly as I looked at the pictures of us two and our friends in New York that covered her walls. I stopped when I reached her desk, a piece of notebook paper covered with words with the date at the top; August 17th, 2014. That was the day before we packed up our stuff and headed back for New York before our senior year started. I sat down at her desk and picked the paper up and started to read what she had written.