Days, months, hours, minutes, and seconds went by and I started seeing Phil for the majority of them, I practically begged my mother to increase my visits on account of the fact that I was getting "worse" she eventually gave in with a stream of tears and a tight gripping hug, she is strangely more clingy then normal and I never can realize why, her face seems to get more pale and fatigued every time she turns a minute older, you would think that ignoring her on a regular day basis would kinda send a message but... unfortunately not.
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"Hey Phil." I smirk sitting crossed legged on his glossy wooden table
"Dan, get your arse off of my desk." he laughed playfully pushing me off
"So why are you so, chipper today?" he asks taking out his famous clipboard and blue pen
"I'm with you, I HAVE THE BEST THERAPIST IN THE WORLD!" I threw up my hands and head as if I were shouting it to the whole entire world, blushing Phil began to write on his clipboard.
"What do you even write in there about me anyways?" getting closer to phil, I was only centimeters away from his face, I only saw a flash of blue cursive words before he hugged his clipboard close to his chest. Before I knew it I was staring into his blue flickering eyes, scanning every single inch of my face I stroked his black soft hair back out of his face, his minty breath grazed my skin, closing my eyes and slightly opening them made me realize that his beautiful lips were caressing mine, fitting together like a perfect puzzle piece it felt we were the only two in the whole entire world he quickly pulled away and had a far away look in his eyes. "Dan I-I think your sessions over.."
"Phil it's not it's only been fucking 15 minutes, why can't you tell that I like you, no love you even! I've been on to you ever since I stepped in this room Phil!" I could hear my voice try to push my tears back where they belong
"Dan, it's not normal falling in love with a patient, think you love me but you don't and I don't wanna fall for that shit Dan, this is ridiculous okay?'
"Phil you make me feel something I haven't felt in probably ... ever can you understand that your special? your special to me and you don't get that because your being really fucked up right now!"
"Dan, leave, now please."
"Phil you don't even-"
"DAN!" he screamed his cold voice stung, like literally stung like electricity going through my body, Phil had never raised his voice at me, like ever. I eventually listened to him and slammed the door behind me, the facility looked even more depressing today, broken lights flickered in the corridor as I walked slowly to the glass doors, Zoey was the first thing I saw in the entire room running toward me with her arms wide open.
"DANNNN!" she yelled while people in the waiting room stared she hugged me but I felt.. too weak to even hug her back.
"Dan, what's wrong, you look sick?" she felt my forehead
"Nothing, I just need some rest at home.." I quickly walked away before listening to her goodbyes, I pushed the doors that seemed way heavier today and ended right on the busy streets of London, couldn't stop thinking about Phil his voice still in my lips, the feeling of his lips pressed against mine still there. I almost couldn't pay attention to where I was going I felt so sick, as if I were doing to projectile vomit on anyone at any second, especially when I started to remember the other night...
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"ssssh shhhh she'll hear you!" I loudly whispered drunkenly covering Phil's laughing mouth with my hand as we started to pass my also drunk mother passed out on the stairs the bottle of vodka still sturdy in her clammy hands. After what felt like one million years of laughing we made it to my room, the room was quite dark but moonlight the only opened window in the room guided our steps.
I pushed the drunk Phil on my bed and plopped right next to him we both looked at each other for the longest time "Your eyes are gorgeous." Phil laughed "They're like little brown moons.." he stroked my long brown hair out of my face whilst he took out a cigarette and lit it with his convenient lighter the butt started to glow an orangish glow as hit took at hit from it. I voluntarily stole the cigarette from his hands and took a hit too, blowing gray smoke into the atmosphere of my room it swirled around doing a little dance for me and Phil to both watch. we both began to laugh just blankly staring at the ceiling .
"Dan?" he asked grabbing my hand
"I've always liked you, a lot actually, and I just wanted to say that I think you're beautiful, and it's really fun to watch you grow healthier and healthier e-everyday and s-soon you won't need my help anymore and that makes me... sad.." he pouted his lip out and traced a teardrop on his face. With both hands I grabbed his face and sloppily kissed him with little laughs in between, he grabbed my arse and pulled my shirt up. He lead kisses all the way down to my belt buckle and whispered against my skin "I love you."
I wonder if that is as stuck in his mind as it is mine.....
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WOOO GUESSS WHO GOT ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE? MEEEEEEE! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I ACTUALLY FORGOT THAT THIS STORY EXISTED AND I CHECKED MY NOTFICATIONS FROM NOW TO LIKE MONTHS AGO AND EVERYONES LIKE WHERES THE UPDATE AND IM LIKE OH CRAP I SHOULD WRITE AGAIN, I ONLY WRITE CHAPTERS DUE TO HIGH DEMAND SO PLEASE INSTEAD OF JUST LOOKING VOTE COMMENT DO WHAT YOU FEEL I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH BYEEE
YOU ARE READING
Recovery. (Phan)
Fiksi Penggemar~trigger warning~ Daniel Howell tries but fails to commit suicide after months and months of repetitive bullying and issues at home, in an effort to fix things his mother sends him to therapist Phil Lester, sessions with Phil become a bit heated whe...
