The Summer Anthology ✔

Story #36- Family Reunion with the Gallagher's

Written by user CelticFalme001

There are certain things a teenage girl cannot handle, no matter the circumstances.

You know, divorce, terminal illness, extreme wardrobe malfunctions (Alright, so I haven't exactly had experience with the previous three). But most important on this list: enormous, lengthy, intensely stupid family reunions in British Colombia (Because why not chose a random province an airplane flight and several hours drive away to hold this stupid thing....).

Okay, I'll admit that my whole family is from British Colombia. Point taken. But having a reunion is still an inconvenience when living in Ottawa, Ontario

Hopefully they'll be some sort of massive earthquake and I'll fall into a fault line. I don't actually know if you can fall into a fault line, mostly because I did not pay attention during geography, but heck, if it is possible and gets me off the hook for this thing, I'll do it. Or I'll fall off a mountain or something. I know for a fact that British Colombia has mountains.

Mostly because three out of my four siblings have upchucked repeatedly due to the aforementioned Rockies and were screaming and sobbing at the top of their lungs for nearly an hour as a result.

To be honest, this whole trip has been pretty darn miserable so far. Not that I was expecting anything other than brutal desolation of course....

My earbuds are jammed in and the volume on my phone is up all the way, blaring "Default', some obscure scream band whose music I purchased for the sole reason of permanently damaging my hearing in order to drone out my family. This is the third time I've listened to their album, 21 songs, whole thing through at top volume.

As a result, my head is aching. And I think my ears may start bleeding. But I don't care.

I do not usually listen to hard rock. But it has to be better than Theo and the Tigers, which was last hours music repeat.

Trust me, nobody listens to Theo and the Tigers for an hour. Nobody listens to Theo and the Tigers for five minutes. Just in general, nobody listens to them.

(To explain: Theo and the Tigers is a 'band' formed by most of my friends last summer when they were bored and wanted to get out of the house. Hence 'band' in quotations, which pretty much explains it all. The only reason I bought their CD was because I did some cello for it. Which appeared on two tracks. And is pretty much drowned out by the guitars, keyboards, borrowed saxophones and electric bagpipes. There is a very understandable reason why they sold a grand total of two CDs).

I mean, rationally, there must be some manner to drown out the wailing of my siblings and shelter me from the upcoming storm (Otherwise known as our family reunion). Unfortunately, attempting to rupture my earbuds is not it. Rupturing them will cause pain, temporary relief from the noise and potentially an unwanted trip to the emergency room. What will not happen is the immediate stoppage of this whole miserable gathering.

I cannot deal with this thing. Even with ruptured eardrums, sobbing siblings or stressed out parents I cannot deal with it. I cannot deal with my immediate family.

Therefore, I have absolutely no idea how I am going to survive a week with my lovely extended family, including all twenty-five cousins (Our family is like rabbits. It's actually a bit ridiculous when you think about global food shortages). Most of whom I haven't seen in like, thirteen years. Just the idea of this thing is for reason enough for sweaty palms and hyperventilation.

(Maybe not that extreme). But you get the general point. To whomever decided to organize this thing: IT WAS A FREAKING BAD IDEA.