Buttercup: [flopping dramatically] Uuugh, I wanna date someone! I wanna wrestle someone into cuddling me until I fall asleep!
Bubbles: [clutching her plushie, wide-eyed] BUT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG AROUND HERE!! It's like... love is weird and boys are weirder and I don't even know what I want anymore!!
Blossom: [arms crossed, analytical expression] Okay, let's just be logical. We hate boys. Historically, categorically, fundamentally. So how do we date without compromising our brand?
[Suddenly, sparkles fill the room. A dramatic guitar riff echoes. Through a swirling heart-shaped portal, enter... the CEOs of Cuteness: Marceline the Vampiress Queen in her iconic red tank and Cream the Rabbit, floating adorably with Cheese by her side.]
Marceline: [hovering with a smirk] Sounds like someone needs a crash course in queer chaos and soft rebellion.
Cream: [sweetly twirling] Hello girls! We heard there was a cute emergency. We're here for emotional guidance and stylish rebellion hugs!
Buttercup: [blinking] Wait... you're, like, THE Marceline? And... Cream? What even IS this crossover?
Marceline: [grinning] Baby, this is the multiverse of gay awakening. And you three are overdue for a consultation.
Cream: [giggling] Dating doesn't have to mean liking boys, silly! You can like girls, or no one, or everyone! And you should always be true to your feelings~! ✨
Blossom: [tilting her head] Wait... liking girls is on the table? But we're superheroes! And girls! And—
Marceline: [floating closer, voice low and cool] And hot. You're forgetting that part.
Bubbles: [blushing violently] EEEEEEEEEE!!
Buttercup: [eyes locked on Marceline] ...I am so listening now.
Cream: [fluttering to Blossom's side, whispering] Even the strongest leaders need soft cuddles and kisses sometimes, Miss Blossom.
Blossom: [stiffly, blinking rapidly] W-well then. I guess we're holding an emergency team meeting on the subject of... alternative romantic vectors.
Marceline: [tossing her hair] Room for two more in the meeting?
All three girls: YES.
Marceline: [floating upside down] Alright, cuties. First lesson in love: Confidence. Show me what you got. And I mean really show me.
Cream: [giggling and clapping] Express yourselves! Be bold! Be adorable! 💖
Blossom: [adjusting her bow, glancing sideways] Alright. If we're gonna do this... I'm going in academically weird.
Bubbles: [already giggling and blushing] Oh my gosh oh my gosh this is gonna be sooo silly~!!
Buttercup: [grinning] Finally. A competition I can shake my way through.
[All three girls scramble to the heart-shaped table and — in a flourish of cartoony sparkle effects — hop up onto it, each striking a dramatic pose... then slowly, teasingly, lay on their tummies with their butts up in the air, wiggling cutely.]
Blossom: [clears throat, cheeks flushed pink] Attention respected CEOs... I present... Butt Blossom, here to deliver a strong argument.
[She cutely opens and closes her buttcheeks to make them "talk" in a faux intellectual voice.]
"Butt Blossom": Ahem! "Romance is best approached with logic and a firm foundation of mutual affection... plus a well-groomed tush!"
Bubbles: [already giggling so hard she can barely do it] My turn!! Meet... Princess Bubblebutt! 💫
[Her butt sways softly as she uses a high-pitched voice, each cheek making kissy sounds.]
"Princess Bubblebutt": "Love is sparkly and soft and should always include snuggles and cupcakes and giggles and hugs and—"
Buttercup: [cracking her knuckles] Alright, y'all had your fun. Now meet... Rumblebutt. 😎
[She makes her cheeks smack together with exaggerated sound effects, lowering her voice to a husky growl.]
"Rumblebutt": "I don't need a speech. I am the love. You want cuddles? You gotta earn 'em."
Marceline: [grinning wide, clapping slowly] Okay, that was both unhinged and utterly charming. Y'all are weird... I like it.
Cream: [swooning slightly] They're so cute when they compete! Can we keep them?
Marceline: [smirking at Cream] Only if they promise more butt monologues.
All three girls: [in unison, cheeks still "talking"] "We solemnly swear to be the cutest little weirdos in the multiverse!" 🍑✨
YOU ARE READING
CEO of Cute, Marceline and Cream the Rabbit
RomanceA cute lady gets others to be cute.. and cuter!! Featuring Cream the Rabbit from the Sonic the Hedgehog series.
