On my way home I kept holding back from calling Logan about what the pack doctor told me. Even though it wont change what happen or how he felt. Being pregnant is no excuse for losing my virginity to my Bestfriend before my own mate. Ugh maybe I shouldn't tell him, maybe he will think I'm trying to make excuses up.
When I walked into the door the house was quite until I met Logan's eyes. He didn't say a word, his eyes said everything. I was losing him, I'm destroying everything! A tear slowly soaked my soft smooth cheak. "Logan?" I whimper when I noticed a book bag in his hand.
He's leaving me, my own mate is leaving me. The worse came to mind, I was literally thinking I might die. I felt like a bunch of knives just tore into my chest as someone removed my heart from my restless body. I do anything for him to stay, I do anything for one last chance. I'm in love with him, he's my freaking mate. Is Logan about to reject me?
He didn't say a word just came closer to me. I just about fell to the floor when he kissed my forehead and whispered.. " I love you " into my ear. An walked out the front door, bag still in his hands. I would have melted right there, effected by his words. If it weren't for him leaving still, was loving me really not enough to stay? I'm confused, if he loves me why is he leaving?
Running out the door behind him, not knowing what I might do next I screamed his name... looking like an idiot. But I didn't care I wasn't gonna lose my mate, the love of my life without fighting for him back. He turned around and gave me a Confused look. "what?" he asked calmly as if I should already know what's going on. "Where are you going? " I asked as more tears streamed down my face, making a puddle on the front porch. " I need time to think, you do too. " he said as he lowered his head as he kicked rocks that were on the ground.
" Logan, I know what I did was wrong but I can change, I promise. Please, stay. I love you! " I looked desperate but I didn't care I felt like my whole body was shutting down, I was entering the 10th level of depression extremely fast. He just shook his head no. "This has nothing to do with that, well it does but you told me before he didn't matter. Then I catch you and him, again? Nevaeh, I need this time to think what is best for are child, ill be back. I promise." His words hit me as he drove down the rocky drive way, leaving me alone in this big house.
I laid in bed the rest of the day, watching stupid reality shows. When 10:00pm came around I turned the tv off, I needed time to think clearly. I need time to realize what I would do If Logan and I were no longer together. If this is Logans pup, would he take care of him or punish the pup for my mistakes? Stressing over subject after subject I turned on soothing, classical music and got into a nice steamy, bubble bath. I even lit some candles and insents to make the dim light more soothing and to calm me down. Stress will only hurt the pup, and right now I can't handle another guy in my life being hurt because I caused it.
It felt like I was in there for hours straight, but I wasn't. I was only in there for an hour, but it still didn't seem like enough. I rushed the water over top my nicely round tummy, and began talking to Liam!
"Daddy is mad at mommy, mommy did something daddy didn't like. Mommy was really wrong and is completely sorry. She wishes daddy would take her back, she loves him soooo much. " I said as I rubbed bubble water over top my stomach. Talking to liam and listing to music should calm us both down, but I still feel torn. I miss Logan so much, I feel like my other half was ripped out of arms reach.
My heart began racing, I feel completely weak without Logan by my side. Regret and discuss rushed over my body, causing my legs to shake. I wonder if Logan even feels close to how I feel. I feel like there is no point anymore, if it wasnt for Liam I would probably commit suicide.
As weak as I felt I had to get out, my skin was very sensitive it was at an extreme level of being wrinkled. Standing up was a battle, my legs wobbled dangerously. My arms could barley handle holding my own weight. I felt useless, stupid, slutty, ungrateful , foolish. I made huge mistakes, and now I'm finally getting what I deserve and I cant handle it.
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LOGANS P.O.V
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I lay uncomfortably on the pack house couch as the night draft, flows steadily in my path. Shaking and missing my beautiful precious mate, I stay strong. Pain drilling through every nerv and vain in every inch of my body, my wolf senses his mates absence. An his going through withdrawal of her unique addictive sent. Even worse I miss Liam, not being able to wrap my arms around Nevaeh to feel my little pup is killing me. But I have to let Nevaeh know how I feel, how her making love to another well a mutt kills me.
I don't wanna hurt her, I don't wanna hurt myself. But my wolf and I both can't take Nevaehs constant cheating. She doesn't understand how bad that feels, how heartbroken it makes me. An how immature it Is to be luna and cheat on alpha with a lower rank.
I just needa give her time to realize just a bit of what I go through everytime she cheats. I know revenge is not the way to go, but its the only way she will learn, the only way she will understand how being hurt by your mate feels.
The more I think about her, the harder it is to not run back over there and hold her close in my arms. That mutt is in for death, he new she was my mate, the alphas mate. Does he really believe I won't do anything, does he really believe I'm just gonna drop this? If he does he mistakenly thought wrong, I'm out for his blood this time I'm making sure he's dead.
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Hey guys sorry for such a late update! I'm trying my hardest to find time to write and it takes me even slower cause I'm writing these off my cellphone!
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xoxo Dez!
