Tyler's Pov
[Tyler's journal]
I'm not okay.
Josh said our 'kiss' was a mistake when he started it.
I've cried myself to sleep ever since..
it's been a week and I've never wanted to disappear so badly.
I've been wanting to swallow more.. pills but Josh took them away and I couldn't afford to buy anymore.
I'm not alright.
and I don't know if I will be.
I've been debating whether I should just leave this place or not.
I could end all of the thoughts right now if I wanted to.
-July 31, 2015
Josh's Pov
I don't know what happened..
I haven't eaten since that night
-I wanted to kiss him believe me I just couldn't. -
.. my parents have been noticing my lack of eating.. but they don't really care. about me.
I need to see Tyler to make sure he's alright. I just don't know how to see him again.
I think I'd just burst into tears and break down right in right before his eyes.
I don't know if I can like him or not..
I'm not completely sure of my sexuality since Tyler anyways..
but I decided at least to text him.
To Tyler Joseph
hey Tyler..
we need to talk.
read 7/31/15
To Tyler Joseph
Tyler are you okay??
read 7/31/15
to Tyler Joseph
I can't sleep with the thought of you being sad.
read 8/1/15
To Tyler Joseph
Tyler please.
read 8/1/15
from Tyler Joseph
I need you.
read 8/2/15
i was ecstatic that Tyler finally replied.
but I was worried..
he needs me??
that's a first.
nobody ever needed me I'm pretty much a useless fuck.
did something happen??
I rushed over immediately
in the car
through the streets
driveway
front door
oh god I'm only in Jean and a jacket with nothing underneath. he's gonna think I look weird or gross or-
door opens
crying Tyler
I took Tyler into my arms and held him tightly.
I needed to protect him.
nobody can hurt him.
which is why I can't fall for him.
If only fuck it up worse.
"Josh?"
"it's ok Tyler, is alright."
he put his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes.
"Josh do you want to come in?"
he said, blood red crying eyes.
"yeah Tyler."
we went inside and into his room.
last time I was here he- God. I can't
think about it too much or I'll cry.
Tyler took my phone to check the time
his text was displayed on the screen
"Tyler Joseph. really?"
"you-you can change it if you want."
I hope he didn't notice my shaky ass voice. it was hard not to fall for this boy.
he changed it to
' Ty :) '
aw.
"wait what's my contact in your phone?"
"take a look Joshy." he said smiling
fuck Tyler stop being hot.
my texts were also still waiting on his lock screen
"Jishwa c: "
"God, Ty."
"I know it's cute" he said smirking
"it's an ugly name." I admitted looking down.
"well too bad I think it's not."
he said lifting up my head blushing
suddenly I'm light red.
fuck I'm falling for this boy.
I cant.
all I can do right is hurt people.
I hurt someone when they realize what I do.
to- to heal myself..
it's funny when healing yourself is earned with pain.
'a fair exchange'
Tyler doesn't deserve the pain I would cause him.
he's too good for me.
-end-
a/n: thx for reading ! :)
next chapters in Ty's Pov ;)
hope you enjoyed!!
I know I write sucky..
bad writers block.
fluff coming soon c:
*kat out*
*copies and pastes*
