FEEL

48. Mauerbauertraurigkeit

Mauerbauertraurigkeit ~ the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like

~ The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows ~

~°~

“What about this one?”

“It's beautiful.”

“That's what you said about the last one.”

“I said the last one was nice.”

I huff and and put the jacket back on the racks. “Same thing. I can't decide if you like them all.”

“It'll look good as long as you're wearing it,” Cameron replies as we walk through the isle in the clothing store.

Today and tomorrow are going to be the only chance I get to shop for everything I need to go to camp. It's Wednesday evening, and I leave for Math camp on Friday morning. That's three weeks without seeing Cameron. I keep telling myself that it isn't a big deal, that I had gone my whole life without him before knowing him, but it does nothing to make the numb, unsettling twist in my gut go away.

Just before I could process his words, my gaze drifts to the store entrance and a familiar lean frame comes into view. He's wearing a black tank top and denim jeans, hanging low along his waist, a pair of timberland boots at his feet. I watch him through the stores window as he walks by, probably on his way to some other shop in the mall.

Dre.

For some reason the sight of him immediately makes me think of Breanna, makes me want to see her so horribly that my chest sours and something heavy falls into my throat. Beyond that, though, I feel a gentle surge of excitement. It's the kind that comes with the eagerness and anticipation of seeing someone you hold dear, that you have been missing for a while.

I haven't even realized just how badly I missed Breanna until now.

“Hey, are you alright?” Cameron asks.

I turn to him. His eyebrows are dropped, frown set deep across his features as he gives me a thorough inspection. To ease his worries, I nod my head. “I'm okay. I just need to use the bathroom. Do you mind?”

“Of course not, go ahead. Just be safe.” I make to leave, but he stops me by calling my name. When I turn back he hands me the car keys. “It's getting late, so the store is about to close. Go straight to the car when you're done, I'll pay for these and meet you there.”

“Okay.” I take the keys and start for the exit once again.

The moment I'm out of the store, my steps hasten. My eyes roam around the vast expanse of the mall, pinning for anyone in a black tank top. I walk further down, passing at least five stores until I realize he couldn't have walked this far. He might have entered a shop, but it would take me too long to search for each one. The line wasn't long, Cameron will be done in just a few minutes. So, I turn around to head out.

I only take one step and suddenly collide against a firm chest, losing my footing and being balanced only by a firm grip around my upper arms. I glance up, and Dre frowns down towards me.

“Shit, Aquila, you okay?”

Instead of replying, I leap forward and take him into my arms. He stumbles once or twice with a before finding his footing and wrapping his arms around my waist. “Woah,” he chuckles, “What's all this for?”

I pull away and reply, “I just haven't seen you in a while...” and Breanna.

“That's kind of your fault, though, isn't it?”