FEEL

36. Nilous

Nilous ~  anxious to imagine how many times you've avoided catastrophy.

~The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows ~

~°~

I underestimated the value of having a hand to hold. After watching Kayla bravely tell Mr Pierce everything that had happened without a blink of a tear in her eye, I realize that mankind can endure the greatest disasters and come out almost unscathed so long as we had someone next to us every step of the way. We thrive and survive on community. And it took me but eighteen years to realize this, to not only understand it but grasp it to a sufficient depth.

Kayla was just narrowing the whole point of her story when I realized that I needed to use the bathroom. From his expression, Mr Pierce already knew where this story was going and if I look into his eyes, beneath the fury he was trying to mask, I'd see the cogs in his brain working overtime, already looking for a solution to the possible problem that she might present.

When I got up, Kayla stopped talking, tightening her grip on my hand and looking at me in question. “I'm really sorry,” I told her gently, “I need to use the bathroom.”

She stares into my eyes, her hand still having not relaxed its grip on mine. It's like she's pondering letting me go and I realize that if she asked me to stay, I really would. Kayla's gaze drifts to Mr Pierce. Her grip slackens.

“Okay,” she says. “Just come back soon.”

I nod my head. “I will.”

She picks up right where she left off as I leave. A certain weight slides off my shoulders at the idea that this whole thing will finally be settled.

I'm still a little shaky, though. On the inside, I'm trembling. I might have just barely escaped the clutches of ill-fate by as little as a millimeter. If I hadn't gone to Kayla after school, I would have never known. And even though I know he would not have done anything bad to me, it's sick to even imagine being in the same room as him one more time. To be another step closer to where she ended up.

I tried to hurry up while using the bathroom. Hastily washing my hands, I barely got any soap on them and quickly grabbed a paper towel, drying off. I was out of the bathroom and into the hallway in less than three minutes, I'm sure of it. Just as I round the corner towards the halls leading to Mr Pierce's office, I bump into someone by the shoulders. The collision is so rough that I stumble three less feet than I walked.

My gaze rises to apologize, but a slight panic prevents any words before they even travel up my throat.

“Careful there, Aquila,” Mr Dawson says with utmost care. “Where are you rushing off to?”

A grin spreads across his features and I can't help but find it so uncanny. After breathing out quietly, I reply, “To Mr Pierce's office. He's expecting me right now.” My words are so rapid that they knock over each other on their way out, but they are just about eloquent enough for him to comprehend them.

“Mr Pierce? He seems to have quite a habit of stealing you from me, doesn't he?” he laughs, but I don't find anything funny there. “I was expecting you this afternoon and you didn't come.”

“I have other plans with Mr Pierce. Like I said, he's expecting me right now,” I excuse.

I try to walk pass him, but he grabs hold of my arm. The grip feels like a warning. “Now, now. You promised me this afternoon. You're not one to break your commitments, are you, Aquila?”