folklore; conrad fisher

16: summer's end

I had a perfect final week at Cousin's beach. Steven's job had ended, so we spent a lot of quality time with one another. When he wasn't with Shayla, we'd be attached at the hip; video gaming, tanning, and playing volleyball in the pool. He was sad to hear that Conrad and I weren't going to pursue anything romantic after the Summer, but still though we made the right choice, nonetheless. Jeremiah joined us for some activities, but I'd also gone surfing with him that week, and that's when he told me he and Belly had become an official couple.

I'd get this news, again, from Belly, who I planned a coffee date with before I left. Aside from wanting to get time with her, I knew I owed her a real apology. She had been cordial with me since I swooped in at the deb ball, but there was still a distance between us. The last thing I wanted was to leave Cousin's Beach knowing she held resentment towards me.

After we ordered two iced lattes, I sat and faced Belly, who gave me a look that told me she knew what was coming.

"Belly I'm really sorry––"

She raised a hand, "Save it. I don't want you to feel bad for me."

"No, Belly. I'm not sorry for you. I feel terrible for betraying your trust more than anything. It was stupid and reckless, and I hurt you. I'm so sorry, Belly."

Belly seemed a bit withdrawn, "I did love him, you know."

"I know, Belly, you told me and I should have––"

She interrupted me again, "No. I loved him back when we were kids. But even then I knew it was always you. You, you, you. I loved you but I also hated you for it. He'd follow you around everywhere, you two would surf together, and he always gave you the most amount of attention. I guess I thought when you left, I'd finally get a chance to have him. But he was always yours."

"You noticed all of this back then? But you were so little."

Belly sipped her drink, then spoke, "When you are young, they assume you know nothing."

"Some of us actually don't," I sighed.

She put her hand on my shoulder, "You'll figure it out. I did. I realized I belonged with Jeremiah."

"How'd you come to that conclusion?"

"I stopped focusing on what I should want versus what I actually want. My whole life I've been so enamored with Conrad, I forgot that there were other people for me out there. With Jere, I knew we both felt something real, something I've been waiting to feel forever."

"You're pretty smart, Belly."

"I grew up too, you know," She said, "I'm not a baby."

I pressed my lips together. I felt bad for treating Belly the way I did that Summer. All I could hope is that she could forgive me, eventually. Maybe her blossoming relationship with Jeremiah would help mend things in the future. For now, I chugged my coffee to avoid partaking in the awkward conversation. Once we were both finished, I let her drive us both home––so long as she didn't mention it to Laurel.

That night I ate a wonderful dinner made by Susannah, and then engaged in a nightly ritual from that week: meeting Conrad in his bedroom. Nothing monumental occurred during the week, other than a fair amount of make-out sessions in his bed. To anyone else, our dynamic most definitely would seem strange. We'd pass the days without saying a word to one another, barely acknowledging each other if we walked past the other. But at night, I'd feel his hands under my sweater, traveling all over me while his tongue felt around the inside of my mouth. It worked for us. I looked forward to it every day. I was addicted to Conrad.