folklore; conrad fisher

41: coming undone

a/n: loooong chapter today, hope you guys enjoy!

By the time the next week passed, my ankle had healed quite well––only hurting if I shifted a bit too much weight on it. Otherwise, I was walking perfectly fine. The previous day, I'd finally surfed for the first time since it sprained. Rushing into those waves felt so satisfying after a period of being stuck at home.

Noticing my return to full health, Belly decided today would be ideal for some wedding shopping. It was the Fourth of July, and apparently, the last day she could use her Michael's coupons. Jeremiah and Taylor would be coming up in the afternoon, so we decided we would bring everyone to split the tasks. It seemed like a pretty easy and efficient plan, which left plenty of time for a Fourth of July barbecue and firework-watching ceremony.

It had been years since I last celebrated the Fourth at Cousin's. That year, I'd come back down from Connecticut for the weekend. We engaged in all of our classic traditions for the holiday, honoring Susannah in a way. The Fourth was her absolute most favorite holiday, so it only felt right that we celebrated in a way she'd approve of. Jeremiah made us all burgers and hot dogs, and then we spent the day at the beach, before retiring to the jacuzzi at night.

It was the first time Conrad and I had been around each other after declaring one another as 'friends.' At first, things were quite unnatural and awkward, but we soon grew accustomed to it. I just knew to be weary that day, and to make sure the two of us got not even a second alone. We couldn't be trusted then.

But could we now?

We'd managed quite well throughout my years at Berkeley. I'd slept over at his place dozens of times now, with nothing romantic in the slightest occurring. It seemed that returning here sparked that since-forgotten history. And that star.

I refused to let myself think about it for longer than I needed to. It happened, yes. That moment was entirely real. Did it make me feel things that I'd never say out loud? Absolutely. But that didn't mean I was going to allow myself to return to my old patterns with Conrad. We didn't work romantically, that was settled. Besides, this Summer wasn't about me, it was about Belly and Jeremiah. Any unnecessary drama between Conrad and I would just mess up the wedding, which was the last thing I knew either of us wanted.

So, we unspokenly agreed to remain cordial after the whole ordeal. We never spoke of it afterwards, mentally adding it to our list of 'banned topics.' There was no use in bringing it up again, anyway. There were no conclusions to draw from it; no theories to make. He was trying to make me feel better, because he was a good friend. That was all.

That, however, didn't explain the standstill conversations that consumed any dialogue between the two of us. There were a few stolen glances here and there, too, and sometimes before bed I'd reminisce on that night. It gave me that same, twinge-y feeling it did back then, but I'd try to focus on something else almost immediately. None of that could really be explained, either

I was downstairs preparing myself some scrambled eggs with toast when Belly came rushing down, digging her hands through the pantry.

She was on the phone with someone who, through the context of their conversation, I assumed to be Taylor. They'd mentioned Steven, and then I heard Belly's disappointment towards her not being able to arrive at Cousin's today.

It would suck that we'd be losing an extra pair of hands, but for the most part I didn't mind Taylor's absence. Her rocky relationship with Steven put the two of us in a weird spot. As Steven's friend, I didn't think that things were healthy between them, and I told him that. Of course, that blabbermouth went and told Taylor my opinion, as though to prove a point of his or whatever.