folklore; conrad fisher

20: a marvelous time ruining everything

We spoke of schoolwork, college life, Belly and Jeremiah––never Susannah. He was the first person I told anything to. I'd call him as soon as I got out of school, while doing classwork, up until I was ready to go to bed. Being three hours ahead, he stayed up late every night, claiming it was because of an overload of work he had to do. I knew he was lying. He kept himself awake to say goodnight.

I couldn't let it get to my head. After all, I still needed answers from him. I was mustering up the courage to ask why he'd ghosted me so suddenly once Summer had ended, and what caused him to call me that night on Halloween. Until I knew these things, I refused to fall under his spell. I wasn't going to go back to being the starry-eyed girl he'd left at the train station. But still, I'd always pick up when he called.

To keep my mind off Conrad, I began  hanging out with Cole more. I wouldn't call him a complete distraction. He was more of a way for me to rationalize my feelings for Conrad. I couldn't like him that much if I was still making out with Cole on the weekends. I enjoyed it, too. Cole made for great company. He was sweet and funny, and everything a girl should want in a boy. I hadn't told Conrad about him yet, though I wasn't sure if I ever planned to. I kind of liked that Cole was my little secret from him. It made me feel less powerless, I suppose.

It was well into November now, Thanksgiving only a week away. Amanda cornered me in the hallway as I was shoving my Calculus binder into my locker. I gave it a slam and then turned to face her.

"So what now, you're just gonna go AWOL on me until we graduate?"

"I'm sorry, Amanda."

I'd gotten into the bad habit of cancelling plans with my friends in case Conrad decided to call me––which he normally did, so I didn't see the problem with what I was doing. It was hard to feel lonely when I'd hang out with Cole at school and then spend the rest of my day talking to Conrad. Not only that, I'd been busy now that Surf season was beginning. I guess with all of these things, I hadn't noticed my absence in my friend groups.

"Ever since you and Cole became a thing you've totally been blowing me off!" She complained, "I never thought you'd be the type of girl to ditch her friends once she got a boyfriend."

"Hold on, Cole is not my boyfriend."

"That's not the point! You're not being a good friend."

I sighed, "Okay, after practice this Saturday, do you want to have a sleepover?"

Her eyes brightened, "Oh my God, yes. That sounds so fun. I'm down."

She smiled widely as the bell rang, signaling us to go to our respective classes. I immediately regretted having Amanda over this coming weekend. It wasn't that I didn't want her company, of course I did. She was my best friend at school, after all. I just didn't have the headspace to host someone like that right now, especially overnight. Plus, my house was small and crowded. It wasn't a particularly ideal environment for a sleepover.

Still, the days went by quickly and mundanely, as they do in high school. Soon enough, she was in front of my doorstep, overnight bag in hand.

My hair was still wet from a post-practice shower when she arrived. So, she gave me a quick hug before greeting my mom, my grandparents, and my mom's new boyfriend, all of whom were sitting watching a cooking show on the T.V.

Mom started dating Leo in August. He was a 50-something year old man who was decently handsome for his age. The two shared the same lecture hall when they taught Summer courses at UCLA, teaching during different periods. After enough run-ins throughout the term, he finally decided to ask her out before they left. I liked him a lot. He made my mom really happy.