I haven't been sleeping much since Josh left. Every night I'm hoping he would come back... every day I look out the window waiting to see him pull up. But nothing. I grow more and more depressed. So depressed I wouldn't come out of my room to eat... the only time I would leave my room is to go to the bathroom.
Every day my mom would come into my room and ask if I was okay. Same response... "I'm fine... just want to be alone". My mom would always respond saying "okay, just come downstairs if you need anything." But I always ignore.
I finally get out of bed. Out of bed straight to the sleepover room, where Josh and I spend a lot of time in watching movies and hanging out.
I put "Marley and Me" on, one of our favourite sad movies to watch. Before I pushed play, I went to my bedroom and grabbed my favourite stuffed animal that's on my bed. The stuffed animal Josh got me for a small gift before he left.
I lay on the couch in the sleepover room hugging the stuffed animal, staring at the screen. During the whole thing I felt tears running down my face.
Next thing I know I hear someone walking in... it was Kirsten.
"Hope, everything okay? I haven't received any texts or calls from you... I tried texting and calling, you didn't reply. You alright?" Kirsten asks.
I didn't nod. I didn't shake my head no. I didn't reply. I just stared blankly at the screen.
"Marley and Me. I remember you and Josh used to watch that movie a lot." Kirsten said
More tears run down my face.
"I know you wish Josh was here. He'll come back, trust me. You two are deeply in love with each other, there's nothing that can keep you two away from each other. He will come back." Kirsten said
"We've been video chatting" I reply
"I know. At least you two still can talk to each other." Kirsten said
"It's not the same. Usually when we talked, we cuddle and hold hands, we're in person. Talking over the internet is not as good as talking in person." I said
Kirsten looks at me, tears going down her face.
"I know you miss him." Kirsten said
"Every time we video chat, I miss him more and more. The more we video chat, the more I miss him, the more I miss him, the more I want him here. The more I want him here, the more depressed I get, because I know he won't be back for a long time." I said crying
Kirsten starts crying like crazy and gives me a huge hug. A hug that reminds me a lot like Josh's hugs.
"I'm so sorry Hope! I wish there's something I can do! I see how much pain you're in!" Kirsten said
"I don't know what to do anymore Kirsten. I don't want to do anything. I just want to stay in bed and cry. Just wrap up like a ball and cry until I pass out. That's all I want to do." I explained
"I'm sorry Hope. I really wish I can help. I don't know how to help though" Kirsten said
"I'm sorry you have to see me like this" I said
"Hope, don't say that. I know you're sad, I know you're depressed. You can't help yourself to be like this. You don't have to be sorry." Kirsten said
"I don't like people seeing me like this" I said
Kirsten starts crying again, and hugs me more.
"Do you want to be alone?" Kirsten asks
"You can watch movies with me if you like. Or you can go... if you don't want to see me depressed." I said
"I'll stay. I don't want to leave you when you're depressed. I'd rather see you like this, than leave you when you're hurting." Kirsten said
The whole day and night Kirsten and I watched movies, tears running down my face as usual.
Josh texted me asking if I wanted to video chat, so I said sure.
>>Video Chat<<
"Hey my lovely Juliet!" Josh said
"Hey my handsome Romeo!" I replied
"Hey cowboy" Kirsten said
"Hey Kirsten, how are you?" Josh asked
"Pretty good, just hanging with my best friend. How about you?" Kirsten asked
"Okay, missing my true love" Josh replied
"I'm my one and only" I said
"I promise I'll come back. Trust me. I don't want to go through life without you." Josh said
"I don't want to go through life without you either. I can't wait until you come back. I wish you were here right now." I said
"I wish I was there too. It's killing me that I'm not there with you. All I want is to be with you again" Josh said
"You okay Hope?" Kirsten ask
I look down, frowning. I don't reply.
"I know how depressed you are. I'm depressed too. I keep telling myself, I'll see her again, I'll be going back again soon." Josh said
"Any chance soon can be now?" I said
"I wish." Josh replied
The three of us grow silent and begin to tear up.
"I should probably go now. Mom's making dinner. You've been eating right?" Josh asked
"Not really. Too depressed to eat." I reply
"Kirsten, can you try to get her to eat?" Josh asked
"I've been trying, her mom has been trying, and Vanessa has been trying to get her to eat. She refuses. She doesn't want to get out of bed either. She's getting weaker and weaker. More and more depressed. But we will try to get to eat. We won't give up." Kirsten said
"I'm worrying about her. Make sure she eats, make sure she leaves the house for at least half the day every single day." Josh said
"We'll keep trying. I promise" Kirsten said
"I love you so much Hope, promise me you'll try eating more and going outside more? Josh asks
"I guess. I love you so much Josh. I want you to be here." I said
"I want to be there too. Don't worry, one day I'll be back. I promise." Josh said
"Love you Romeo" I said
"Love you too Juliet
________________________________________________
Chapter Nineteen is up! Hope you're enjoying the book :) Sorry for the short chapters :p
follow me on twitter at rachaelmcd1432 and on Instagram at rachael_kirsten_mcdonald
I'll try getting one or two more chapters up, this week and next week are pretty busy for me.
Love you guys so much <3
YOU ARE READING
The Countryside
FantasíaA story about Hope's life, showing how she grew up, and how bad her childhood was. But when their life was changed when Hope and her mother move away.
