Myers Briggs on crack part 2

1 0 0

by Mielayeotlom

by Mielayeotlom

ESTJ: Who taught you to come up with this crazy nonsense?! What kind of bonehead raised you like that!?!?
ENTP: I am an orphan, you dickweed.
ESTJ: *fuming*
ENTP: You know, I once heard a tale that if you laugh too hard, you can blow your eye sockets out
INTJ: *disturbed* What the hell is your problem?
ENTP: *giggles* Why have one problem when you can have multiple?
ENFJ in the distance doing yoga: Ummmmm...
ESTJ: *mutters* That damn yoga fanatic is scaring my customers
ESTP: IIIIIII'M GONNA SWIIIIIIING—
ESTJ: Need I remind you of a couple weeks ago when you took that song too literally? I never want to hear about a chandelier again
INTJ: He genuinely doesn't care
ISTP: I will take partial responsibility for that. But I paid for the damages and ISTJ still hasn't recovered
ISTJ: *gargles his rabies*
ISFP: I think we need to get him a therapist
INFJ: Did someonef say therapist?
ESTJ: *whispers* FLIP NO!
ISTP: Look, buddy why don't you work on addressing your own issues before helping other people?
ISFJ: Hey, don't be so hard on her! We all have our issues... *glances at bag stuffed with allergy medication*
INFP: If anybody is cut out to be a therapist, it's me. I encourage people to openly express their emotions as a way to process them
INTJ: All therapists do that, you knucklehead
ENFP: Actually, you'd be surprised— every therapist has their own method of getting their paycheck, I mean helping their patients. Hehe wow, my froidian slips are being very honest, I mean loud today *fake grins*
ISTP: *raises eyebrows* Right
ISFP: Would anybody like a burrito?
ESFJ: Why has everybody lost their gosh darn minds!?!?
INTJ: I thought I was pretty straightforward
INFP: Besides, I've learned from the mistakes of shitty therapists. All they do is give you medicine to turn off your feelings without actually solving your problems. If anything, it delays the root cause of poor emotional maturity and gives you health problems
ISFJ: *mutters* And that's why you got cancelled on our podcast
ENTP: *chuckles* Join the club. I love saying controversial opinions to see how much I can get away with
ISFP: You do seem to enjoy pushing the envelope that way
ESFP: Why push the envelope when you can mail it?
ESTJ: GRRR
ESFJ: Why are you always angry? You should do yoga with ENFJ— that actually helped me de-stress even though it did look a bit strange at first
INTJ, ESFJ and ENFJ: Ummmmm....
ISTP: You can also talk to INFJ or go axe throwing with me. Whatever floats your boat
INTP: Everyone has a different way of dealing with stress. It is always important to personalize your coping mechanisms as data suggests—-
ENTJ and ESTJ: We get it!
*dead silence follows*
*INTP starts crying
INFJ: It's alright, INTP, I'll listen to your data points
INTP: *sniffles* Thank you
ENTJ: I thought thinking types weren't supposed to be emotional
ESFP: *whispers* It's just a stereotype
ENTJ:*whispers* KYS
ESFP: To do that, I will climb to your ego and drop to your IQ level
ENTJ: *seething*
ESTP: I'll do it with you! I've always wanted to jump off a building
ENTJ: *mutters* These crazy shitheads
ISTJ: *goes back to normal* I feel your pain, buddy
ESFP: HE'S ALIVE!
INFJ: *sighs indignantly* We all have different coping mechanisms....
ENTP: *terrorizing a pedestrian* Hi
Pedestrian: *lowkey disturbed*
ENTP: Would you like to hear a joke?
Pedestrian: Sure...
ENTP: At weddings old people would poke me and say, "You're next," so I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
Pedestrian: What the hell is wrong with you?
ENTP: You are dealing with a famous comedian- that's what's wrong with you
Pedestrian: I asked what was wrong with you, not what was wrong with me!
ENTP: I was paraphrasing- so what is wrong with you, then?
Pedestrian: What!? Nothing is wrong with me
ENTP: Are you, by chance asking what is wrong with me?
Pedestrian: Goddammit
ENTP: Did you know Joe Biden has cancer?
Pedestrian: That literally makes no sense
ENTP: We live in the matrix and any moment you'll wake up in an alien space shuttle and get brainwashed
Pedestrian: I'm leaving...
ENTP: Good chattin' with you!
ESFJ: This guy is arguably worse than ENFJ
ISTJ: *chews a bite of tree bark with crazy looking psycho eyes*
ENFJ: I believe ISTJ is arguably worse than all of us combined
ISTJ: *chokes on an acorn*
INFP: It is his cage of limitations- the most conventional people often go mad the fastest
ISFP: Can we please get lunch somewhere? I feel uncomfortable
ENTJ: So we're just not going to unpack the insightful truth INFP just laid heavily on us
ISFP: Absolutely not
INFP: Many people in this world have something to say but cannot say it, and the other half have nothing to say but talk anyways
ENFJ: Man, that was deep! I'll happily listen to you unpack your inspirational quotes and we can exchange insights
INFP: Deal