Suck it

Mo part 1

I think junior year is going to suck. 

I just have this gut feeling that it's going to suck the most and I can't really handle another terrible year at Springfield. Its 2 a.m., I should be pumped to go to my first day tomorrow. Its a half day and I'll get to see all my school friends. (School friends: noun;  people you're very friendly with during school hours and/or after school activities; don't hang out outside of school unless at a school function such as a dance etc.) But no, I'm laying in bed, staring at my glow-in-the-dark moon and stars I put there in second grade, regretting my decision to go to a public school.

Suddenly I heard a  knock on my window. Not the tree-in-a-storm knock but like knuckles tapping on the window knock. 

I got out of my bed and walked to the window in the back of my room that faced out neighbor's backyard. 

Brooks Cleaver was sitting there in the rain, poor guy. I opened the window and he crawled in.

"Are they fighting again?" I said as I handed him a spare blanket.

"Yea you know them, never a night off." He looked at me, drying off, with those puppy dog eyes.

"Ugh you can sleep here but you have to get out early, I have to school tomorrow." He smiled, took off his shoes, jeans, and t-shirt so he was just in his boxers. Brooks always had a nice body, even before he started working out.

"YES! Thank you Mo." He said as he wrapped up in the blanket again and hopped on the bed. I got under my covers and we laid next to each other, neither of us slept. I knew something was wrong with him because he is either asleep right away or going on and on about something. But tonight he was quiet and wide awake.

"Brooks? What's on your mind?" I asked calmly. He immediately covered his face.

"I fucked up today Mo." He said as he exhaled a huge breath.

"Brooks you always fuck up, it can't be as bad as July." He shot me a glare and shrugged my shoulders, "don't give me that, it's true."

"Ok ok I know that time I really fucked up but like I was really bad today to her, Mo. I don't know why." He said, he voice shaky and full of emotion.

"Well, did she do something to piss you off? Or was it really for no reason?"

"She got a hair cut." 

"Brooks how does that affect you in any way? So what? She needed a change. I saw it, i think it looks great." I said crossing my arms. He jumped up and faced me.

"GREAT? IT LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING ON HER MO." At this point I was confused.

"Then what the hell is the problem?"

"Because she gets more beautiful everytime I see her and I can't be with her. I probably could never be with her ever again and it pisses me off that she got even more beautiful, which I didn't think was even possible." He layed back down and gave a big sigh.

"Brooks?" I asked softly, he looked at me. "Why did you do it then, if you're that in love?"  He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

"Honestly Mo, I don't know. It makes me sick thinking about hurting her, and I don't know why I do it...its ...I DON'T KNOW OKAY?" He yelled. I moved closer to him, put my arm around him and pulled him in. I held him tight for about an hour till he fell asleep. I don't know what he was thinking for that hour but I knew it wasn't good since he nuzzled closer to me every now and then. 

I know he fucks up all the time, sometimes worse than others, but the guy is just a ball of emotions. Lauren was his anchor and of course he screwed that up. I don't know how he's going to make it without her.