Suck it

Mo part 4

I still didn't understand what had happened. 

He was so seductive and charming and confident and smug until I said I was Dana's sister. He was almost scared to be talking to me, which didn't seem normal for him. 

I drove back to the clinic to get him. Nany was outside smoking a cigarette and Ollie was sitting next to her on the curb.

I pulled up and got out of the car, initially to help Ollie get in the passenger side, but maybe Nany knows something too. 

"Sorry I was late, I had a pit stop."

"That's fine, anywhere exciting?" Nany asked as she put out her cigarette.

"Um, yeah. To talked to Santiago." They both immediately looked at me like I was crazy.

"Maureen Rossi what the hell were you thinking?" Nany said grabbing arm and turning me around. "Are you hurt? What happened?"

"I was trying to help! No I'm fine, we barely talked. I tried paying off Ollie's debt, and he wasn't interested, but then I said I was Dana's sister and he got all weird and made me leave. Were him and Dana close or something?"

"Stop asking questions Mo, take me home please." Ollie got up and got in the car. Nany wouldn't look at me. She picked up her purse and got her car keys out. 

"Take him home, forget tonight happened. And don't ever go back there ok?" I opened my mouth to reply but she cut me off, "Ok Mo?" I nodded and we left.

I dropped Ollie off at his friend's place and went back home. 

Why were they being so weird about it? I know Dana wasn't an angel child, but I just want to know why Santiago got so weird. 

I made popcorn and headed to my room when the idea came to me: search Dana's room.

My dad forbid anyone from moving anything in that room. I can't remember the last time I went in. I think he goes in still, at least once a week. 

I dropped the popcorn off in my room, took off my shoes, and tiptoed back down the hall. It was like 1am, so dad and Monica should be fast asleep.

I slowly open the door without a creak and shut it. The smell hit me. A little mix of her perfume came to me. She had this distinct smell about her besides the perfume. But I don't think I could ever describe it that would give it justice. 

Her bed was still not made. Her closet door open with clothes pouring out. My heart started to feel heavy, my chest felt like it my burst into a million small pieces. Maybe it was too soon?

No.

You need to figure this out Mo.

I go to her nightstand first. I open up the draw. Chapstick, candy, tampons, makeup wipes, condoms (did she have sex in this house!?), and random other things. I look under the pillows, nothing, but I'm careful to put them back exactly how they found it, or else dad would notice.

I go to her dresser, just clothes. 

I go in her closet. She has her yearbooks in the corner and a medium size cheetah print box underneath. I pull down them and I sit on the floor with my back against her back. I try the box first.

Shit. 

It's locked. Whatever I need answers for has to be in there. I turn to the year books. Only three of course. 

I look through her junior year one first. She was a cheerleader. Which didn't suit her very well. A little bit of Peyton from One Tree Hill, where she was a little punk and didn't really seem like the cheerleader type, but it still kind of fit anyway. 

We had buried her in her leather jacket. She wore it everywhere. And almost every picture I see of her, she has it on. I heard she was a bit of an outcast. Not in a weird way, but in a dangerous way. She wasn't from Belv, but she hung around them. And she was friends with people in Manville. She was awesome. 

She would have been graduated by now. She could have been halfway through college. Or maybe she would have worked. She could have done anything she wanted to.

I close the year book. I feel the tears come down. She was my best friend. She was everyone's best friend. She was my dad's little girl. 

Ok I need to find this key.

I put the year books back but keep the box out. Where could she have kept this key?

I go back to the nightstand and little dump everything out. Nope. 

I look under the bed. Nothing but shoe boxes. I look on her desk and in her jewelry box. Nothing. Where the hell is it?

I look at the pictures on her way. Some of her friends, some of her and Ollie,a nd some of the bands she liked. I spot the picture of us. It was my first day of high school. I still had blonde hair. It was her first day senior year. She looked so happy to be back at school. She had taken her junior year online so she could be home with Matt.  I with Ollie would just let Mateo stay here. He's high half the time, so how much time does he even spend with Matt?

I smile at the picture. I reach up to touch her face, as if it would feel like I was with her again.

But instead of the smooth surface I was expecting to feel, there's a bump. It was too dark to notice it at first, but not that I feel it, I can see the picture if bent a little, like there was something between the picture and the wall.

"I come in her during the night sometimes too." I jump and turn around. My dad, eye sunken in, looks around her room. 

"You scared me." 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I heard noise coming from here and I woke up. I was in a daze and actually thought to myself, 'Dana needs to stop sneaking in, it's getting old.' But of course, when I came to, it brought it all back." He looked like he was going to cry. He rarely cries.

I go over and hug him. 

"I guess her anniversary is coming up anyway. I suppose you were snooping for clothes you could get away with?" He half jokes, even though I feel him tense up.

"Just wanted to smell her again." It wasn't a complete lie. But how do I tell him I think she was involved with one of the toughest guys around here?

"I understand. I should go back to bed. But just make sure you leave everything how it was. Just like she left it."

"I will." He kisses my head and tells me he loves me.

I know he does. But I always knows how much he wishes he was talking to Dana right now.

I wait for him to close his bedroom door before I go back to the picture. 

I carefully lift it from the wall, and low and behold: they key.