Something Beautiful

↠t w e l v e ↠

Song of the chapter:
Fade to Black by Metallica

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About an hour after Ashton finally sat down (though he wouldn't stop bouncing his knee) Lizzie came out crying.

Ashton jumped up and ran over to her. Once he reached her, she dropped into his arms.

I knew what had happened before anyone had to say anything.

I jumped up as well, but instead of going to comfort Lizzie, I stomped down the corridor. Once I got outside, I leaned up against a railing, gripping my hands around the cold metal. Rain was pouring down from the sky, making me feel even more angry.

Rain was supposed to make me feel better, but no, it was making me feel worse.

I heard the traffic on the side of the hospital, over about one hundred metres of grass.

I pushed myself off the railing and jumped down the two concrete steps to the ground, walking quickly to the side of the hospital, and across the grass.

Once I got to the sidewalk, beside the road, I watched the cars. There was a twenty-something year old lady yakking away on her cell phone when she knew it was illegal! Ashley died from a goddamn car accident and you could too!

"I hate you!" I yelled after her.

An old lady was driving at like twenty kilometers an hour, and she got to drive! Ashley couldn't because she was dead.

"I hate you--I hate you!" I screamed. Tears were streaming down my face by then and I just kept yelling at the traffic, venting out my anger. I was so sick and tired of people doing things without thinking about the consequences. I had gone through so much anguish because of people like that, and now Ashley was dead because of it.

I probably screamed at the traffic for fifteen minutes before I felt a strong pair of arms grabbing my waist from behind and pulling me off the sidewalk into the grass. My heart began to beat hard and fast, because I didn't know who it was. But I was in too much distress to pull away.

The arms released me and I whipped around, ready to throw a punch. Ashton stood there, staring at me, his eyes puffy and red and his hair sopping wet. I knew my hair was probably the exact same but I didn't bother to cover it with the hood of my sweater.

"What the hell do you want?" I screamed at him.

"Are you okay?" He asked calmly. I'm surprised he didn't shy away from me, scared of what I might do.

"Does it look like I'm freaking okay?" I really wanted him to hold me in his arms and let me cry. But I knew that would never happen.

"Do you want to come back inside? We can go to the cafeteria." He asked.

No way! That food tastes like cat puke! "No. I want to stay here and scream at traffic." I said, sounding like a four year old.

"Hazel, that's not going to help you." Ashton went to grab my arm but I pulled it away and turned to walk back to the sidewalk.

"Don't worry about me. Go back inside and take care of Lizzie!" I had my back to him because I didn't want him to see me start to cry again.

"She told me to go after you." He whispered.

I snorted. "Why?"

"Because she said that we're alike, that we have gone through the same things. She thought that I'd be able to get through to you."

I whipped around and glared at him through my tears. "We are nothing alike. You have no idea what I've been through or what has happened to me. You've only known me for like a week and already you people think that you and I have so much in common?! I'm sorry but they're all wrong, Ashton! People use me! They use me, abuse me and I have nobody! Did you hear me?! Nobody, Ashton! I've gone through so much pain and stress, it's not even funny. I'm surprised I haven't just jumped off a bridge yet! I am not worth it, Ashton, so just go away and save yourself the trouble! Just go away." I screamed the last few sentences because I was just so angry at myself, at him and at everyone else in this damn world!

Ashton only stood there staring at me while I screamed at him, and he didn't even flinch once. After I had finally shut up, he just continued to stare at me, not saying a word.

When he did speak, I was surprised about what came out of his mouth. "God, Hazel. I care about you so freaking much! You have me!" He grabbed my hands in his and looked into my eyes. I wanted to look away but I couldn't.

"You're the first girl I've ever wanted and tried to hang out with. Which is funny, considering you always push me away. I would never use you for anything!"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter if you wouldn't use me. I'm not worth it anyway."

He sighed. "I don't know who hurt you but they must have scarred you pretty badly. I'm so sorry Hazel." He moved his face in towards mine.

I turned my head away. "No." Was all I said.

He sighed again and dropped my hands. "Come inside. Please?"

I stared at the traffic, at all the passing cars, and realized he was right. There was no use, yelling at people who couldn't even hear me.

I turned back to him and nodded.

He half-smiled and grabbed my hand, and we headed back inside the hospital.