[MJ Fanfiction] Whatever Happens (Sequel to "What Happened That Day")

Part 5: Behave Yourself

Michael's point of view

As I took a quick glance at Jessica on the other side of the bed, I noticed she was asleep, and I thanked God for this. I didn't know what got into me to sleep with her, and even to kiss her... I regretted it at the second I got into her, and I couldn't forgive myself for this. I was stuck: I couldn't tell her I did this to wash away my feelings for June because she'd be hurt I used her, I couldn't tell her I'm forcing myself to love her so I can forget about my feelings for June... I can't do that, and with what I did, I knew I was stuck with her. With all of this, I didn't even tell her that June was coming to visit us soon, and I knew she wouldn't be happy about all of this after what happened between us.

I got out of bed, trying not to wake her up, and wrapped a sheet around my bare waist. I put some underwears and pants on, and grabbed a white t-shirt before leaving the master bedroom. As soon as I was out, I put my tee over my head, and headed to the room of the house I feel the most safe: the library. I took the notepad I use to write my songs on, a pen, and flipped through the pages to find the lyrics I wrote a long time ago so I can finally finish the song I put on stand-by for two whole years: Can't Let Het Get Away.

Once I finally found it, I began writing the frist two verses that popped in my mind at the second I crossed June's stare.

I thought she had to have it,
Since the first time she came.
Who knows the situation,
Mysteries do remain.

I put the pen down for a second, and dried my now wet eyes. I didn't know it would be so hard for me to take out of my chest what I've been hiding in me for such a long time. I found myself falling in love with a wonderful woman who decided to leave me for my own good, and now I realized this woman is completely over me. And what do I do? I just fool around with a nice woman who I think has feelings for me just so I can erase the memory of my lost love. I hated myself for that. It was selfish of me.

And now I wonder why
I breakdown when I cry.
Is it something I said,
Or is it just a lie?

I try so hard to love you
Some things take
Time and shame.
I think the whole world of you
Your thoughts of me remain
I'll play the fool for you
I'll change the rules for you
Just say it and I'll do
Just make this thing come true.

There were my two first verses, and while wrtiting it, I couldn't stop the tears from falling from my eyes. It was just too much for me to bear. I had to deal with the woman I am still madly in love with but who set me free, and with the woman I'm married to but whom I'm not in love with. It's true I love her, but it's the same kind of love I have for Elizabeth. Our relationship is nothing but friendly, but after what happened between Jessica and I earlier, I knew it was the biggest mistake I've ever done in my life. However, there was still this part of me that kept telling me that I did the right choice by sleeping with Jessica, because I needed to move on.

But at what cost?

***

Manhattan, New York, April 12th 1990, 2PM

June's point of view

"What's the big deal, Karl? I don't understand your point, to be honest," I admitted to my angry manager on the other end of the phone.

"You don't need him in your life, you've been good since you walked out of his life, right?"

"I've been feeling good because I had things to keep me busy and I had help, not because I didn't see Michael for two years!" I shouted angrily.