Dipping Into Together

Ch 15

It was now Tuesday. I think. So that was a total of six days since I had been “kidnapped”.  If my calculations were correct, anyways. In that time I had gotten a total of five meals. Five. Jonah had received four.

From the little light in which I could see, I could tell that we had both lost a lot of weight, and I could feel that I was very weak. I was now more or less used to the pain of being hungry. I tried not to think about it, though. It made me too depressed. Me and Jonah didn’t talk much, except when we cleared up what had happened to both of us, which had happened on Sunday.

We had been sitting there, doing nothing when he had said, “So, what did you mean, ‘I did this for you’?”

“Oh,” I said, “I meant the whole thing, was for you.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Um, well, your uncle approached me one day during lunch when you weren’t there and um, said that if I spent some time with him then he wouldn’t hurt you.”

Jonah exploded. He punched and screamed and yelled in anger, in hatred. Once he had calmed down, he looked at me.

“Did he touch you?”

“What?”

“Did he fucking touch you?” he screamed.

“Jonah,” I said, “You already saw—”

“Did he fucking rape you?!” he screamed.

“No! Gosh, Jonah! You already asked me that!”

“You could’ve lied! I don’t know! Why the hell would you ever agree to that? What the hell were you thinking? I mean, what the actual fuck?”

“You weren’t speaking to me! Don’t you dare blame this on me! I didn’t want him to touch you! What was I supposed to do, just let him do whatever to you?” I screamed incredulously.

“Yes! That’s exactly what you were supposed to do!”

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s the right choice!”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes—”

“Shut the fuck up! Shut up!” I screamed. “I swear if you say one more thing about how I was supposed to let him kill you I will—” I cut off, my voice cracking, and let out a ragged breath. I closed my eyes and turned away from him, trying not to cry. I sat like that for a couple of moments, trying to collect myself and not make  a fool of myself.

Then I felt the heat of his body next to me and his head dropped down and rested on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know what you were trying to do. I just hate that you did that. I hate that he did that to you, put you in that situation.”

I rested my head against his and let out a sigh. “We can’t do this, okay?”

“Do what?”

“Fight.”

He nodded.

“And I’m sorry what I did. It’s just that…you had completely abandoned me and I didn’t really know what to do.”

He let out a long sigh. “He beat me up that morning, before I came to pick you up, the last time we talked, remember that morning?”

I scoffed. “I could never forget it.”

“Anyways, he said that I needed to stop talking to you or else he’d do something to you, and he knew that I liked you. He knew that you were my only weakness.”

I had lifted my head, surprised. He lifted his head too, and looked at me.

Taking in my expression, he frowned. “Why is that so weird to you?”

“What?”

“That you’re important to me.”

“I uh, I don’t know. It’s just that…” I sighed. “No one’s ever really, like, cared that much, you know? Besides my dad.”

He cocked his head. “You’re important, okay? You need to get used to that.”

“Why didn’t you at least say something? Explain why you couldn’t talk to me?”

He broke eye contact and looked down. “I was so afraid…that he’d actually do something to you, that I didn’t even want to risk it. I knew you were better off without me, so I wanted to make you hate me so that you’d stay away.” He glanced back up at me, then back away. “When I saw you…at his house, or my house, I guess. I thought…I thought I had screwed up and you were there because of me.” He made a noise of disgust in the back of his throat. “Hell, it is because of me.”

I could tell that he completely blamed himself for everything we had gotten into. I couldn’t take him hating himself like that. Since my hands were still tied together, I nudged his head up with both my hands so that he was looking at me.

“Don’t blame yourself,” I said. “Okay? I can’t deal with that right now.”

He leaned forward, capturing my mouth in his. Slightly surprised, I broke away for a moment, looking into his eyes. They were dark. I brought my hands up and put them over his head, resting them on his neck.

“Wait,” he said. “Lift your arms for a sec.” I did, slightly confused as to what he was doing. He then wiggled his arms over my head and down my body to my waist. “Now,” he said, “put them back.” I again brought my hands up and over his head, resting them against the back of his neck. “That’s better,” he whispered, glancing down at my lips and then back up into my eyes. He leaned forward again, he brushes his lips against mine, barely touching them. I almost groan in frustration. He did it again. Even though we were in a hell hole in the ground his lips were still soft. He did it again, teasing me. This time, I did groan in frustration.

“Kiss me, damn it,” I whispered hoarsely.

He smiled, and pulled away as much as he could given the position we were in.

I lunged forward, forcefully knocking into him, causing us to tumble on the dirt ground. When the motion stopped, I found him struggling to push himself off me. But because of the fact that his hands were tied and around me, he couldn’t. I nudged his face with my nose, causing him to look at me.

“Hey there,” I whispered, smiling.

“Hey,” he breathed, his breath smelled sweet like coke, which we had drank earlier that day. Then, pushing himself up enough so that he could position himself to lie exactly on top of me, he let himself down again. The weight of his body on mine was deliciously electric, yet innocent in a way, I didn’t know why.

“Hey,” I whispered again as he lowered his head down to mine.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.” He brushed his lips against mine softly. This time, I lifted my head and made our lips meet. I parted my lips and his tongue ran along my bottom lip. I groaned. I lifted my hips into his and deepened the kiss, touching the tips of our tongues together. But it’s still not close enough. I let myself fall against the ground, yanking him down with me and making him collapse against me. Then, quickly, I pushed him onto his back, and rolled myself onto him. This is more like it. With a quick flick of my head I tossed all of my hair onto the right side of my neck, making a curtain of hair. Leaning up slightly, I looked down at him.

I took in his flushed cheeks and dark eyes filled with intensity. I felt his arms straining against me, trying to pull me back down to him. I gave him a smile, and then slowly leaned down, running my mouth against his jaw. It was my turn to tease him.