Again, if you don't care about my signature enthusiastic yapping, you can scroll down past the text to get to the art/character sheets quickly. You just might not understand the text on the sheets.
Can you tell I love Advance Wars (not Days of Ruin) yet?
I've been having a blast with the first three cartridge games on an emulator (unfortunately, I'm too broke to get Re-Boot Camp). But apparently, there's a competitive PVP Advance Wars scene in the form of online websites like Advance Wars by Web.
Now, I haven't signed up for an AWBW account just yet, mainly because the website uses AW2 stats for a lot of the COs and I personally prefer most of their Dual Strike iterations instead. (For example, I personally believe that Sonja, Jess, and Eagle, among others, are much more fun, viable, and/or balanced in Dual Strike than they were in AW2, but AWBW still uses their crappy AW2 stats.) And also because life exists, but no duh.
I have no idea what the above mini-tangent has to do with today's entry, but I'll insert a jarring transition right here. If you don't know what Advance Wars is, feel free read the predecessor to this chapter. You should be able to tell what that chapter's name should be.
As a supplement to today's ramble, allow me to explain each unit in Advance Wars in 10 words.
Infantry: Pawns. Meat for the meat grinder. Captures. Cheap, but crucial.
Mech: Tanks, but infantry. """Cost-effective""". Slow as hell. Noob trap.
Recon: Crucial in Fog of War. Otherwise, "fuck infantry in particular."
Tank: Bread and butter. Tanks do everything. Cheap, powerful, and fast.
Md Tank: Basically bigger and slower tanks. More expensive, but more tanky.
Neotank: Md Tank: "Who are you?" Neotank: "I'm you, but faster."
Megatank: Md Tank: "Who are you?" Megatank: "I'm you, but stronger."
APC: Transport. Refills gas/ammo. Even for planes and ships, somehow.
Artillery: Glass cannon. Ranged unit. Fucks every ground unit except Megatanks.
Rockets: Artillery: "Who are you?" Rockets: "I'm you, but more risky."
Anti-Air: Take one goddamn guess what this unit specializes in doing.
Missiles: Anti-Air: "Who are you?" Missiles: "I'm you, but a meme."
Piperunner: "They ride pipes now." "What?" "The indirects ride pipes now."
Fighter: "Nice bomber you got there. Unfortunately, I exist now. Die."
Bomber: "Nice units you got there. Unfortunately, I exist now. Die."
B (Battle) Copter: "The tanks fly now!" "They fly now?" "...They fly now!"
T (Transport) Copter: "Nice HQ. Unfortunately, I'm transporting an infantry. And it's Sami's."
Stealth: Either the game-winner or a complete waste of funds.
Black Bomb: "Nice indirects you got there. Unfortunately, I exist now. Die."
Battleship: Rockets: "Who are you?" Battleship: "I'm you, but I float."
Cruiser: "Nice submarines you got there. Unfortunately, I exist now. Die."
Lander: Transport. Only naval unit worth building most of the time.
Submarine: "Nice battleship you got there. Unfortunately—OH FUCK A CRUISER"
