His Wild Blue Air

Day 23

Tuesday

"Mommy?"

Skylar was sitting at the dining table, reading the newspaper as she waited for her son to finish his cereal so she could send him to school. She hummed in response, not lifting her eyes from the latest news she was reading.

"Who's my daddy?"

She froze, yet to look away from the newspaper. His question had caused her to grip the edges of the newspaper tighter, crumpling it up. Her brain circulated for the best answer. 

She couldn't find one.

"What brought this on?" she asked, finally looking up and praying that he couldn't see the anxiety in her eyes. Good thing she wore glasses.

He was pouting down at his cereal, his spoon half-filled with cereal hanging over the bowl. "Everybody at school has a mommy and a daddy," he said pitifully. She clenched her jaw. Fuck. "And I don't have a daddy."

Her heart broke for him. She tugged on her ponytail and sighed at herself. Once again, she was proven to be the worst mother ever. She got to her feet and rounded the table, kneeling by his side. She tipped his chin up and mustered a smile that she wasn't feeling at all. "Do you want a daddy so badly?" she asked.

"Isn't it normal for boys and girls to have mommies and daddies?" 

She licked her lips. "It is," she whispered regretfully. She removed her fingers from his chin and reached up to stroke his soft blonde hair. "I'm sorry, Aiden, that I couldn't give you a daddy."

"I don't have a daddy?"

She was briefly removed from reality as she remembered all the things that were done to her to result in this boy in front of her. Would she ever forget the pain and the unanswered pleas and the sniggers? How could she explain to her beautiful, beautiful - and sick - boy that she didn't know who his father was? Where would she find the words to tell him that she never even intended to have him until she reached the right age? Would he be able to handle the fact that his father was, in fact, a monster still on the loose?

"Mommy?"

She snapped back and focused back on her son. "You do have a daddy," she began, finding the words as she said it. "He's...Your daddy's not around, sweetie. He's gone far, far away and he's never coming back. And I am so sorry." They did say 'lie to not put someone in pain', right? Or maybe something along that line.

He shook his head, clearly seeing how she was suffering from explaining to him. He immediately leaned forward to hug her. "You're enough, mommy. You're more than enough."

**

Her dog missed him. 

It had been three days since Ethan boarded the plane and left for home, leaving her and Dog here like he was supposed to. She hadn't slept in her bed for three nights, to be honest. Every night, she would pull the covers back and slip under the covers, switching off the lights and waited for Dog to snuggle at her feet. And then she would stare at the ceiling for one hour before she conceded and went down to sleep on the couch. 

The couch was basically her second bed now. 

How did she know her dog missed Ethan? Well, every morning she woke up, her dog would be gone. Where would he be? She would climb up the stairs sluggishly and see Dog there, sitting on his butt in front of the door that used to be Ethan's bedroom. She hadn't entered his room since the night he left, so she would just whistle for Dog and he would prance after her into her bedroom.