anxious and alone |dnf|

unknown number

George's POV:

I blink my eyes open to warm sunlight kissing my face. My blanket is messily spread out and my shirt is halfway up my torso. I rub my eyes before yawning with a long stretch. After a few minutes of waking up I go to brush my teeth and make food.

Eggs and oil crackle against the hot pan, my curls knotted together. The house is warm but silent besides the occasional pop from oil. I hold my plate tight in my hand as I walk back into my bedroom and sit at my desk. My monitor and keyboard are dusty as I haven't touched them in what's felt like years. My sleep schedule has never been as normal as it has been lately.

I finally pick up my phone to check the time, but a notification catches my eye. It's a number I don't recognize so I assume it's a scam or accident, however once I begin reading my stomach sinks and I feel the urge to vomit.

"Hey George how've you been? I know it's been almost a year but I've thought about you everyday since. I'm not sure if you'll reply or if this is even your number anymore but I just want you to know that I'm doing better, and to thank you for saving my life. Love Clay :)"

My eyes widen with each word, my head spinning. I stand up with the phone tight in my hand, my grip almost enough to break it. I rub my face with my free hand trying to understand whether this is real or if I'm just hallucinating.

It's been almost 11 months since I got the message from Clays mom and I haven't gone a day without thinking about him. After she reached out I decided to quit streaming and took a break for a while. I moved back to England and spent a lot of time with my family like she said. I even got a job in a small town where nobody really recognizes me.

My knees almost give out with the amount of pacing around my room. My stomach twists and turns, my mind racing with 'is this a prank?'

It took everything in me not to stay in Florida back then, to move on from the fact that I may never speak to my best friend again. For months I didn't want to speak, I didn't know what to say. I would barely leave my house, I would barely eat, I would barely live. My days were filled with tears and vomit and anger. The pain still feels so fresh.

I stop in the centre of my room and almost collapse to the floor, tears streaming down my cheeks. My fingers shake as I hover over the screen. I reread the text over and over again to make sure what I'm seeing is real. The text was sent 3 hours ago. It's 8am for me meaning it would be around 12am for him. I don't think before pressing the call button.

I hold it close to my ear with shaky hands, tears falling silently. I hear three rings, then four, then five. After a few more I'm sent to voicemail, his voice creeping into my ear like secrets nobody should know.

"Hey it's Clay! Sorry I couldn't answer the phone but leave me a message and I'll get back to you!" His voice sounds different, happier. It isn't rough and dry like I remember. It's smooth and comforting.

"It's real.." I whisper over and over. I hangup the call before I'm sent to voicemail and place my phone back on my desk after turning on the ringer. When he calls I need to answer. I sit on the edge of my bed with wide eyes and silence. The only thing I can hear is thoughts tripping over each other in my mind. It's all so overwhelming.

Everyday his name has been on my mind, his voice on my tongue, his skin on my fingers. I couldn't let him go. If all of this is just for fun it will ruin me.

~

It's been like 2 years and so I suppose it's finally time to give you guys a better ending