anxious and alone |dnf|

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Dreams POV:

I take a deep breath while rereading the text over to make sure it isn't too weird. My thumb shakily hovers over the send button for a minute. I finally press it and immediately turn off my phone. My stomach flips and knots, my palms becoming sweaty. Please be his number.

I know it's late for him and he most likely won't answer for a few hours, so I place my phone face down on my desk and go into the living room to hangout with my roommates.

Back when I was in rehab I didn't really get better, so I decided to stay for another month. After that I went and lived in a halfway house to try and figure out how to live again. I stayed for 3 months and got a job at a small cafe. The good thing about not revealing my face online is that nobody can recognize me if I serve them.

I quit streaming completely and didn't even give my fans a reason why, but I reached out to some of my friends to explain. The only person I didn't contact was George.

After the halfway house I reached out to some resources and was able to find a nice house with 2 guys looking for a roommate. Their names are Sam and Percy. Sam is 21 and goes to college as a history major, Percy is 23 and brings his girlfriend around every Thursday for game night.

Ever since moving here with them I've been doing better. I've made stable income and we all take turns buying groceries and cooking. We've become really good friends. Both of them had issues with substances a few years back, so they understand what I've been through.

Percy is the better cook of us 3, apparently his mom went to culinary school so when he was growing up she taught him a bunch of tricks and recipes. Me and Sam always look forward to the days that he cooks.

"Did you do it?" Percy asks looking at me. His eyes are deep blue and small dark circles stain underneath them. I sigh I lean my head back, my stomach filled with butterflies. "Yeah, I feel like I'm gonna throw up.." I admit. I've told them about George, how I feel about him. They're the ones that convinced me to send the text.

Percy slaps his hand onto my knee a few times, a wicked smile across his face. My face contorts with pain and laughter. "Don't worry Clay I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear from you!" He reassures. I nod and redirect my attention to the tv, although George's face is still etched into my mind.

After a few hours the front door opens and Sam walks in with a bag of McDonald's. "I felt like having a midnight snack and thought you guys would feel the same.." he says. We all gather around the coffee table with our fingers picking at fries. It's just past midnight and we start playing some video games.

By 2am we all pass around contagious yawns. "I'm gonna head to bed." I say. We exchange goodnights and I close my bedroom door behind me. I look at my desk, my stomach twisting all over again.

I sit down and turn over the phone, my eyes squeezed shut. I open them slowly and see a missed call. It's George's number. My eyes widen and my heart pounds. I immediately press on it, familiar ringing playing from the speaker. I hold it up to my ear with a heavy heart.

Before the third ring I hear a familiar voice. "Clay?" He says frantically. My heart almost bursts. "George!" Tears prick at the corner of my eyes before falling.

I hear quiet sobs on the other line, my heart beating loudly. "I've missed you so much Clay, I'm so glad you're okay." His accent twists into my head.

"I missed you too George. I haven't gone a day without thinking of you." I begin. "How have you been? Are you working?"

"I'm doing good, I have a job in a small town and it's quiet. What about you?" His words are like honey. "I got a job in a little cafe. I've got roommates now George can you believe it?" I laugh.

"I'm so happy for you Clay. I didn't know if I'd ever get to speak to you again. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to tell you how much I love you."

~

:P