Runaways and dreamers

Chapter 17- Worth remembering

The blaring noise of alarms chased Katie and Jace down the midnight street, piercing the quiet night with its shrill noise. They ran endlessly down random streets and alleys as they'd become accustomed to. It just wouldn't be right for them if they didn't run from the law at least every couple days or so.

Laughing and smiling through heaving breaths, they charged through the night, no particular destination in mind but they'd find something, they always did. The loud alarm slowly faded till it was drowned out by the noise of wind and cars. The noises of the city. Somehow they found themselves back in the heart of town, back to the rich hustle and bustle of city night life.

Grabbing Katie's hand, Jace pulled her to the doors of the bar they'd used as refuge from the law previously. Katie followed willingly as Jace took a seat and flagged down the waitress. The young waitress smiled, "What can I get you?"

"Two beers please, whatever the house favorite is." Jace answered with polite smile. She nodded and walked off to give the order to the bartender. After a minute of peaceful silence, the waitress returned, handing them their drinks.

Jace raised his glass to Katie, "Cheers!" Katie smiled and clinked her glass against his. "Happy birthday Katie." He grinned, peering into her bright eyes.

"First one ever."

Jace gave her a strange questioning look, pausing his excitement, "What do you mean?"

"It's the first actually happy birthday I've had." Katie answered in a forlorn tone. Jace wore an apologetic smile, resisting the urge to hold her hand since he knew physical touch wasn't something she particularly enjoyed.

The two reminisced about all the times they'd run from things so far. From the law mostly, but sometimes for fun or competition with each other. The night turned a deeper shade of starry black, emphasizing the bright glow of buildings and street lights. They finished their drinks, Jace paying the bill before they walked out back into the night.

Night life was winding down, people were heading home, Jace and Katie would usually have done the same... But neither knew where home was now. Not the lake house, that wasn't an option anymore. Jace couldn't go home to his family, didn't want to at least, and Katie didn't have one to return to.

With a sigh, Katie observed the ever darkening streets carefully, searching for something seemingly abandoned. The rich part of town was at maximum occupancy, they wouldn't find anything empty there. They'd have to look somewhere more off the grid.

Katie wound her way through the alleys she knew so well from her childhood on the streets, Jace following at a short distance. Memories flooded her, both good and bad. Of people who'd helped her, betrayed her, offered advice or sneered and told her to figure it out herself. When she really thought about it though, the people who'd betrayed her and refused to lend advice had taught her the most. They'd taught her things vastly more important and valuable to her than the kindness of a stranger.

She'd learned strength from them, learned to know when someone was or was not really your friend. They had show Katie how to survive on her own, to find a new way of doing things when no one was there to help her do them. Katie hadn't realized she'd stopped walking while thinking back on these alleys and all she learned there.

"You ok?" Jace asked, placing a hand lightly on her lower back.

Shaking her head slightly to clear her thoughts, she turned to him blinking a few times, "Hmm?"

"Are you ok?" He repeated, giving a concerned look.

"Yeah..." She added in a distant voice, glancing around again as she ran a hand through her thick wavy hair. She could still picture every one of them, all the ghosts of her past that still pranced about in the back of her mind. It was a dark and confusing place, her mind, filled with gnarled and tangled memories, doubts and complications, like a convoluted forest of thorny vines that crisscrossed each other more times than measurable. She was afraid, scared that if she let Jace in he would never find his way back out.

A loud crash caught her attention, she swiveled around to see the shadow of a girl running. Her breath hitched in her throat, seeing the girl run down the street beneath the street lights, it was obvious she was homeless. But undoubtedly strong, she reminded Katie of her younger self. A brief moment of sympathy washed through her body as she wished the girl luck in her mind.

"We need to find a new place to stay." Katie stated, changing the topic. Jace nodded and followed as she hurried out of the alley to outrun her ghosts.

After nearly 2 full hours of searching for an empty place to stay, they still had nothing. Everywhere was occupied, nowhere left vacant and unattended. In the back of her mind, Katie had a growing thought, a horrible, hopeless, last resort thought. There was a place, but she swore she'd never go back and be haunted by the memories that lived there.

With a sigh of defeat, Katie dropped down to sit on the grass. They'd wandered into a deserted park on the edge of a lake that was glistening from the glow of nearby street lights. Trees dotted the pristine park, casting long shadows.

Jace sunk down next to her, throwing a pebble into the lake and watching the ripples disrupt the glassy surface.

"Well I guess we're sleeping in a park." Katie commented, laying back in the grass.

"Better than an alley." Jace shrugged.

Katie winced, pushing back memories that attempted and threatened to overrun her mind again. Jace noticed her pained expression, picking up her hand, "Sorry, I didn't think about it before talking."

"It's fine." Katie sighed dismissively.

Jace laid down, putting his arm around her shoulders. She didn't resisted, allowing herself to relax there with his arm around her. Taking her relaxed posture as a good sign, he leaned over and kissed her forehead, "Happy birthday, Katie," he paused, unsure if he should finish the sentence but he said it anyway, "I love you."

Katie's insides clenched and tightened, she closed her eyes quickly to fake asleep. He doesn't have to know I heard, She thought, hoping he didn't expect her to be ready to say it back. Not out loud anyway.

"From the moment I locked eyes with you," Jace continued, not knowing if she was fully awake but meaning his words all the same, "just staring into your beautiful orange eyes."

Katie stiffened up further, close to tears, you don't know what you're saying! You don't want to be let in, I'm not what you think. Not amazing, not brave, not special. Not beautiful. Just alone and broken and scarred. She thought desperately. Katie had convinced herself long ago that if she really let someone in they would be ruined by what they found. Everything she had done wrong, if they knew what she'd done, she was sure they would leave her. Katie knew deep down she wanted nothing more than to give in, to tell him that she loved him and stop fighting. She had been fighting her whole life, she knew she should give in and let someone else be strong for her for once. But she couldn't bring herself to tell him.

Jace sighed, assuming she was asleep, "Goodnight, beautiful." As he drifted off into a contented sleep, a tear slid down her face, as she wondered if she could ever tell him what she had done. If she could let him in. Vulnerability had never been something Katie indulged in. Old ways were hard to change.