Runaways and dreamers

Chapter 19- Desperation

Sunlight filtering through the window illuminated the dust swirling in the air. They woke up, Katie wishing she could stay there forever, peacefully safe in his arms, believing that nothing could change Jace's mind about her. That nothing she'd done would change his feelings.

"Morning." Jace whispered gently into her ear.

She turned over in his arms to face him, murmuring back with a smile, "Good morning." They stared at each other for a long moment, smiling, Jace leaned toward her softly kissing Katie's cheek. She moved her hand, running it through Jace's hair, and leaning toward him, kissing him on the lips instead of the cheek. He responded immediately, kissing her back.

Katie started to relax as they kissed slowly but memories surged through her mind all at once, catching her off guard. A memory of James. She pulled back, breathing heavily at the painful memory but pushed it aside, trying to bury it like she always had. Jace stared at her with a questioning look that held a hint of concern and maybe disappointment at her pulling away, "You ok?" He asked as his thoughts buzzed for a moment and he wondered if he'd done something wrong.

Katie nodded, "Sorry, bad memory."

"It's ok." Jace assured her, flashing a smile to reassure her.

"We should get going."  Katie stated as the moment slipped away. He nodded in somewhat downhearted agreement.

Finally getting up, they left immediately, striding through the field back toward the one place that was worse than the farm house for Katie. As much as the farm house tormented her, she hated her other option more. It was her absolute last possible choice, she would've avoided it if at all possible. But it was all they had left and she doubted she could survive another night in the farm house as unchanged as it was.

Katie knew someone who could get them a place to stay, but her entire being hated the idea of asking. Her gut twisted uncomfortably, she wished she didn't have to go there.

"So where to now?" Jace asked as they wandered aimlessly in the field.

"I don't know," Katie shrugged, knowing she had to finish but not wanting to. After a long pause she continued, "but I know someone who does."

"Who?" Jace asked in a careful tone, sensing she wasn't happy about this option. Her tone reminded him of how she had sounded when she'd suggested the farm house. Only with a hint of bitterness this time.

Taking a deep breath and squeezing her eyes shut momentarily, she heard her own voice continue despite her desperate want to say nothing, "Romona."

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Katie led the way resentfully, she knew the path all too well, though she wished she could've forgotten it. The forest seemed darker, the trees reaching out like skeletal arms of her fears and memories, tormenting her, trying to grab her and drown her in her past. It sent chills down her spine. Doubts welled up in Katie's mind as they trudged along. She couldn't help wondering if the would even still want her help in exchange for theirs. The last time they had met James and Romona had ended up unconscious.

Jace said nothing, walking awkwardly behind, knowing how hard it was for her to come back here and ask her betrayers for help. He knew with certainty this was their last option, she wouldn't be going there if it weren't. He wanted desperately to comfort her and tell her he was right here with her and that nothing was going to hurt her. But he couldn't get himself to speak, couldn't say it because of the possibility of her not wanting to hear that right now.