Colors ♡ Kim Hongjoong

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 10

Date: November 16

I sat clutching my bag of books and clenching my jaw. Yeosang and Wooyoung seemed to be enjoying themselves thoroughly. However, I was not in the mood for any of this. Huffing, I shot the two boys next to me a glare. They ignored me, continuing to bop their heads to the music — too invested.

"I'm going to find a bathroom," I muttered, shoving my bag into Wooyoung's lap. "I'll be back."

It took some direction from a girl at the back of the crowd, but I eventually found the bathroom. I entered and found the sink. Grabbing a paper towel, I damped it under the water and brought it to the back of my neck. With so many people inside, it had gotten too warm for my liking.

I soon tossed the paper towel into the trash and pinched the bridge of my nose. How long had Yeosang and Wooyoung been planning this? This was like torture to me. I was confused and it made my head hurt. Of all people, I would have expected the least of Hongjoong. Of all people, why did it have to be him up there on that stage?

I was beginning to doubt that I really knew him at all. I hated that my judgments of him might be wrong — that would only prove that I was less of a person. I let out a slow, infuriated breath. The bathroom was empty except for myself and I was grateful. Suddenly, the familiar pain began to throb within my heart. Before I knew it, it was soaring through my ribcage.

I steadied myself, my hands gripping the sink as it if were a lifeline. I gasped for air, struggling to stay standing as the pain nearly brought me to my knees as it had before. Glancing into the mirror, I saw my reflection was filled with terror and pain. I was embarrassed at how weak I was, and terrified at the same time.

Reaching for the wall, I made my way to the door. I needed to get out of here and go home. I needed to find somewhere quiet to be in this pain. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. Finally, I was out of the bathroom and standing in the back of the room. My hand lingered over my chest where the pain was now stabbing every few seconds. It was a pain that came in waves.

Hongjoong's voice was low and beautiful, cutting through my pain. A lump formed in my throat as frustrated tears pricked my eyes. If Yeosang and Wooyoung hadn't dragged me here, I might not be in pain. And if I was, at least I would be at home and not around all these people. I wouldn't be around Hongjoong.

My ribcage felt as though it would cave in any second. That was, until Hongjoong locked eyes with me. He didn't pause in his performance but instead held eye contact, as if he were trying to read my thoughts. He gave me a comforting smile. Maybe he knew this wasn't my sort of thing and that I didn't want to be here.

The pain vanished.

Date: November 17

The next morning, I remained in bed. I had barely slept because my pains had continued throughout the night. If this is what it was like to have a soulmate, then I didn't want any part of it. Only when my mother peeked her head inside my room did I sit up.

"Yeona, don't be late for school," she scolded gently. She understood what I was going through so she was a little easier on me.

Without further instruction or any complaint, I pulled myself out of bed and got ready for school. I hated that I had to add a little powder to hide my eye bags. Would I ever get a good night's sleep again? Or was this only the beginning? What if I didn't meet my soulmate until after college? That was so far away... I forced away those thoughts once I got to school.

Finding my seat, I rested my head on my desk. I hoped to get at least a few minutes of rest before class started. I have been so tired and exhausted from life lately. Students slowly trickled into the room, all loud and chatty. Annoyed, I folded my arms around my head in hopes to muffle some of the noise.

The chair to my right scraped the floor and I knew Hongjoong must have arrived. I listened as his books were set out on his desk and he hummed one of the songs from last night.

Last night.

I had run out of the concert without telling Yeosang and Wooyoung, and went home. That was something I was starting to hate — running. I felt as though it was a sign that I wasn't strong or bold enough to face my problems. If I ignored them long enough, life would return as it was. But that wasn't true because whether I liked it or not, my life would change after my birthday. I would be searching every face in hopes to find color.

The teacher entered the classroom and I had to sit in my chair properly. When lunchtime came, I ate by myself outside. I didn't want to be around anyone. I was still pretty pissed off with Yeosang and Wooyoung after the stunt they pulled last night. My body was still sore from the pains, but at least they were gone for the time being.

Setting my tray aside, I hugged my knees to my chest. It was chilly out, but at least it wasn't windy. A shadow formed over me.

"Are you still not talking to us?" Wooyoung asked hesitantly, a small pout on his face. Yeosang stood next to him, his hands dug into his pockets. They were a guilty pair.

"You knew I wouldn't want to go," I replied under my breath, "And yet you still bought me there."

"Okay, but to be fair," Wooyoung raised his hands in defense, "You have to admit that it was crazy to see the one and only Kim Hongjoong dressed in eyeliner and a sinful leather jacket."

A small grin formed on my lips, "That was definitely unexpected."

Yeosang gave me a sly grin, "So you'd be up to go again?"

Frowning, I stood and collected my tray, "Absolutely not."

"Yeon, come on," Wooyoung sang as the two followed me inside, "The music slapped!"

"But the betrayal didn't," I shot them a look over my shoulder. We made our way back to the cafeteria where I returned my tray. I could feel Hongjoong's gaze which upset me more. Folding my arms, I directed myself back outside to the hallway.

Hongjoong had seen me at the concert last night which probably sent him the wrong message. He was probably thinking that I decided to show up and that I was now a fangirl — or something. I winced at the idea. How had things gotten this far out of hand? I really needed to change this course before it got any worse. I needed to make it clear that I was not one of Hongjoong's fangirls, and I definitely wasn't interested in being friends. Not anymore.