Colors ♡ Kim Hongjoong

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 14

Date: November 21

The pen twirled in my hand as I stared at the chalkboard, working to comprehend what my teacher was saying and writing. It was math so I should have been able to understand, but my mind swirled with thoughts from my humanities class from the day before. What was causing my soul bond pains...and was it my fault?

I was starting to wonder if my soulmate was responsible for all of it. That would be annoying, especially since I didn't know who he was and couldn't tell him to get his act together. Exhaling quietly, I let my eyes wander the room. There was a lot of doodling in notebooks and deadpanning. I paused when I noticed Hongjoong.

He sat, furiously scribbling equations in his notebook. His free hand was buried and tugging at his hair. He was wearing his glasses today so I guessed it was to help lessen his headaches. Biting his lip, he suddenly erased an entire string of equations and glanced at the notes he had taken for reference. Until now, I had never taken notice of any academic struggles he might have.

My hand swept over my mouth inconspicuously to hide my little grin. I guess he wasn't Mr. Perfect after all. I had to admit that it made me feel better about myself.

The hand twirling my pencil tremored, and a sharp pain surged through my arm and to my chest. I sucked in a breath and dropped my pencil which fell onto my notebook. The pain rattled my ribcage and left pins and needles in my arm. I tried to focus on my breathing which was difficult at the moment.

Inhale. Exhale.

My hand crept over my side, as if that would make it any better. I shifted my gaze back up to the chalkboard, attempting to remain on track with the lesson — not that I ever really was in the first place.

"Yeona?" The teacher said my name.

My eyes flashed to her, my posture straightening, "Yes?"

"Can you give us the answer to this equation?" She took a step back from the podium so I could get a better view. I scanned it, not understanding what I was seeing the first time. Knitting my brows and squinting, I tried again.

"Um..."I mumbled under my breath, before speaking up, "Eight."

The teacher nodded and I relaxed a little, relieved.

"Usually you have an answer before I even call on you," she noted, the slightest hint of concern in her voice. "Are you feeling okay?"

I blinked rapidly, my cheeks flushing, "Uh, yes. Just a headache."

With that, class resumed and I felt like hiding. The eyes that had been locked on me turned away except for one. I tilted my head to peer over at Hongjoong. He studied me for a long moment. He wasn't smiling, or frowning. His expression wasn't curious or prying, but careful observation. It was as if he was taking the time to recognize what just happened to me — to see through the simple "headache".

I was the first to break eye contact.

Later, in science class, I was taking notes down in my notebook. I was doing my best to concentrate but every now and then, the words would all fuse together and I'd feel that annoying sharp pain in my ribcage. It was driving me absolutely insane. It throbbed again and I couldn't help but roll my eyes and close them for a few seconds.

By the time I opened them again, it was gone.

There was a quick rap at the classroom door before it slid open and a staff member peeked her head inside. The teacher paused and greeted her, but she searched the room until her gaze landed on me. I raised my brows.

"Kang Yeona? Could you come with me for just a moment?"

There were murmurs around the room as I stood and followed her out. I heard the teacher silence them and resume her lesson. I folded my arms uncomfortably and stared at the floor as we walked toward the main office. I knew it — they were going to ask me about my recent grades. However, she dipped down a hallway which caught me off guard.

"Your teachers have expressed that you haven't looked well recently so we're just making sure you visit the nurse today," the staff member spoke.

I sighed in annoyance, "I just haven't been sleeping well recently which has caused headaches. That's all."

"And you haven't had a healthy appetite either?"

I didn't have a response to that one. Once we reached the nurse's office, she left me to return to the main office. I took a seat on one of the beds as instructed.

"I'm just going to check your vitals and ask you a few questions," she said kindly. I watched as she took my blood pressure and pulse. Everything was fairly normal — my blood pressure was just a little low from not eating well.

"I hear you've not been feeling well recently?" the nurse asked, making a note on her clipboard.

I shrugged, "I just haven't been sleeping well but it's fine. I'm doing better now."

"Have you tried drinking chamomile tea before bed? It might help," she scratched something else with her pen. "Have you been experiencing any weird feelings of discomfort in your chest? Like pins and needles?"

Shifting in my seat, I crossed my arms over my chest, "If that's what you want to call it, sure."

Her brows furrowed and she gave me a confused look, "Are they more severe?"

When I didn't answer, she wrote more notes and finally sighed. She set the clipboard down on her lap and clasped her hands, looking me dead in the eye. She wasn't upset, but instead full of compassion.

"If you're having severe soul bond pains you can say so," her voice was gentle, not commanding like I had fully expected it to be. "Repressing all those emotions and feelings isn't helpful and only makes it worse. If you need to talk to someone you can stop by. Okay?"

I nodded, looking anywhere but her. I didn't want to admit that I was in extreme pain and I definitely didn't think "talking" about it would make it any better. In fact, I thought it would make it even worse. I didn't need to talk to anyone about this. Remembering the interaction I had with Hongjoong made me feel stupid. He probably felt the same way.

After a few minutes more questions, the nurse finally released me back to class. I strolled down the hallway, lost in thought. Hongjoong had experienced such a horrible soul bond pain in the hallway. Did that mean his soulmate was rejecting him or repressing her feelings? Or...was he repressing his feelings?

When he first spoke to me about his soulmate, he said that he was waiting for her to find out. Had she already found out and was now rejecting him? It was really none of my business, but it did make me curious.

I had my reasons...but what girl wouldn't wish Hongjoong was their soulmate?