Colors ♡ Kim Hongjoong

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 15

Date: November 22

The day had honestly flown by and I found myself sitting in humanities again. As you could guess, the teacher hadn't moved away from the topic of soul bonds. He had put on a short documentary about the consequences of resisting soul bonds. I was ready for the class to end. The farther we got into the documentary, the more uncomfortable I was.

I thought they were just rumors, but there are some extreme cases where one half of the bond has died due to rejection from the other. I thought those were just fictional horror stories. Very rarely did soulmates not end up together. This was because if they didn't, the chances of experiencing severe soul bond pains for the rest of their life was a guarantee.

My jaw tightened as the documentary ended and the teacher began discussing the topic further. Were my pains a...bad thing? I thought they were just normal but what would happen to me if my pains got so horrible I couldn't handle them? I felt like I was barely holding on as it was. My heart sank at the thought of my soulmate already rejecting me...or repressing his feelings.

"Not many people tell you this," the teacher spoke, leaning on his podium with a curious smile — as if he were about to drop the biggest news, "But nine out of ten times, your soul bond pains begin right after your other half has had their eighteenth birthday."

A student raised his hand, "Why is that? Is it even if both sides are unaware of each other?"

"It's either because the one half is stressing about finding the other half," the teacher's smile faltered, quickly but enough that I took notice, "Or they're repressing feelings and struggling internally within themself. You can't put weight on one side of a scale without the other being affected."

My head was spinning.

Thankfully, the bell rang a few minutes later. I bolted up from my seat, grabbing my back pack and streaking out of the classroom. I didn't even wait to hear about any assignments. I stumbled my way through the hallway, my palms sweating and my ears ringing. I burst through a set of doors that led to the back of the school. The small courtyard was empty and only occupied by a light drizzle.

I inhaled deeply but the air was too thick for any satisfaction.

Without hesitation, I threw my backpack to the ground. It landed several feet yards away and pens and pencils spilled out onto the stone. I took a step back, my chest rising and falling heavily. So either my soulmate was stressing himself out, repressing feelings, or rejecting me altogether — and I was experiencing the painful consequences. The pain was unending and I couldn't remember the last time I had been truly pain free.

"It doesn't help," an all too familiar voice spoke up from behind me, causing me to whirl around to face him. Hongjoong stood with his backpack hung over his shoulder and his hands in his pockets. He wasn't being judgmental or amused, but simply observant.

"How do you know?" I muttered, embarrassed that he had watched me throw a fit. "You don't know how I feel."

He chuckled, "You'd be surprised."

Hongjoong walked past me until he reached my backpack with spilled contents. I watched as he gently picked up the mess and placed everything back inside, ensuring all of the zippers were closed. Something inside me stirred and I couldn't understand it. Why was he being so kind to me after I had made it so painfully obvious that I hated him?

"You don't have—" I tried to interject.

He simply peered up at me, "It's okay to let someone help, even if you don't explicitly ask for it."

I knit my brows, "I never gave you a reason to think I needed any help."

Coming nearer, he held my backpack in his hands. A knowing grin crossed his face, "It's not like you to throw things, or to eat lunch alone out in the cold, or to even hesitate an answer to a math problem."

I swallowed hard. This was so embarrassing.

Snatching my backpack from him, I pulled the straps firmly over my shoulders, "Look, I don't need your or anyone else's help. I'm fine."

Someone reached into my core and snapped my ribs.

"Have you ever tried gratitude?"

I blinked, "What?"

"It helps me get through a lot," he stated thoughtfully, studying me carefully. "Whenever I feel the pain, I think of something I'm grateful for. Sometimes I have to think of a few things, but it helps."

"Well I'm not sure that I have a lot to be grateful for right now," I scoffed.

A wide grin flashed across his face, "I do — I'm glad you didn't sprain your wrist when you chucked your backpack a few minutes ago."

That was unexpected and it made me chuckle. Rolling my eyes, I cocked my head to look at him again. He stood, hopeful.

"Fine," I gave in, "I'm glad for the weather because it makes me want to take a nap or get coffee."

Hongjoong thought it over before finally nodding, "A solid six out of ten."

"Are you seriously grading me on gratitude right now?" my jaw dropped, an incredulous laugh escaping my lips.

He shrugged, "How are you feeling now?"

I paused, searching for the pain that so often lingered...but it was gone. My eyes widened, now staring at him. I took note how his eyes glinted with cheerfulness and pride. He seemed proud of himself, but from the way he returned my gaze, he looked more proud of me. That part I didn't quite understand.

"How did you do that?"

"I didn't do anything," he began walking back to the doors, "That was all you, Yeona."