Chapter Sixteen: My Story

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(It's Aysh. I'm writing the chapter this time. Wow such a dramatic rush of events huh- I know. But ey- let's see what I can come up with)

Trigger Warning: Cutting, Light Stridercest,

Dave's POV

11:43 AM.

I sat on my brother's bed, my arm up and out while he patched up my cuts even though I told him I didn't need them patched. As...As much as he already is at home, he is a good brother to standards. Thought right now I think he just needs something to cope with the death of his boyfriend.

"Bro, that's enough bandages." I said as I stared up at him.

"Just want my little brother to be patched up and safe."

"If only you can patch up my life as tight as you did these bandages." I said looking to the side.

There was a silence before the weight of the bed shifted, looking over I was met face to face with my brother. Our eyes burning through each others through our shades. I could see his darkened orange eyes.

"Maybe I can...Even just for a bit..." he said leaning in.

"Bro- what are you doing-?" I said as I scooted away from him.

He pulled back and stood up, leaving his own room. I stared at him walk out wondering what the  hell just happened. But it was a little problem to me now. I was out of school and I told John to meet me here at 7...It was going to be a long wait. I might as well do some shit while the day goes by.

--

6:50 PM.

John will be here in 10 minutes. What do we do? What do I do? How am I going to talk to him comfortably? I sat in my room and sighed. I fucked up big time. I'm an idiot. A fucking insecure idiot that can't do anything right.

My room door opened and my brother walked in, he stared at me before approaching my bed. Looking up he was staring down at me with those pointed shades. I scrunched my eyebrows as I stared back.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

He leaned down, making me fall back on my bed. His hands rested on both sides of my head as he hovered over me. My heart pounded as I stared up at him, my cheeks beginning to flush.

"Bro." I said.

All he did was stare.

"Bro this isn't cool."

He then slowly leaned down, our lips grazing together sending shivers down my back. His legs straddling me down as my hands went to try to push him off me. Our shades almost touching as our lips touched.

"Bro." I said quietly.

Our lips locked together, something between us sparking. Something feeling like reassurance. My hands stop their force on my brother's chest and rest there as he leaned down on me. We couldn't proceed father for our shades were in the way. But that made me relieved. This...Us kissing felt weird. It felt weird, but something in me needed this. And I knew he needed this as well.

"Dave? Bro?"

John was at the door knocking. I tried to push him back again, but of no use. He was too strong for me. His lips continuing to move with mine soon moving to trail kisses down to my neck.

"B-Bro." I said trembling, my back arching oh so slightly.

"Dave??"

"Jo-Ohn." I said as I looked towards my room door.

I felt his tongue on my neck and gave out a small gasp, my hands twitching. My brother then moved off of me, walking out of my room without uttering a word. I sat up and touched my neck; my face was hot and body shaking. I heard Bro open the door and greet John. Taking in deep breaths of air I tried to calm myself down, tried to cool down my face.

"Dave...."

I looked towards my door and saw him standing there, a hand on the doorframe and the other at his side. I looked at him straight in the eyes and nodded.

"Come in." I said.

He did as told, closing the door behind him. He was wearing a white Tee with a blue sweater over. A pair of shorts and green sneakers on his lower half. The bespeckled teen walked over to me timidly.

"Sorry." I said.

"No. I'm sorry." he said, "I'm your friend and-"

"No. I'm the one who's sorry. I know you know that I like you and I just...That night- we were drunk, but I ended up doing all of that and-"

"Dave."

I looked at him and stopped talking. John had a small frown on his face. Even with the smallest of frowns it still made him look like he was going to cry.

"Forget it. Alright." he said softly, "I'm not going to let that ruin us."

I closed my eyes and nodded, "Yeah...Yeah...It's not going to..."

"Good. Because I need you too."

I smiled softly, opening my eyes to see that he was doing so too. John told me the homework assignments and some things he remembered from the lessons. The night progressed as how it should. But it came to the point where I found the guts to tell John on why I...Self harm.

It was back when my brother and I were still in Texas. It was way before I met John online. I was in the 6th grade. The school year was starting and I had already gotten myself attention with some bullies. It was when one day when they took my shades, they saw the color of my eyes and that provoked the abuse even more. Day after day I came back with bruises and cuts. Cuts. The cuts that decorated my arm as soon as I broke. The color red. The red that had caused all of this, the color that streamed down my arms each day. The color that I came to accept was my sin.

I tried to stop once I met John. It worked for a while, but the urge came back. It left me emotionally scarred. I was addicted to the pain I inflicted onto myself. The adrenaline that rushed through me when the first cut was made, when the blade came in contact with my skin.

"Dave..." trailed John staring at me.

I stared blankly back at him as he scooted closer to wrap his arms around me. The kid. So soft hearted. I found myself wrap my arms around him in return, my face buried in the crook of his neck taking in his scent. It was light. It was a scent from fresh baked bread with a hint of cinnamon. Though the smell of John himself is always the best.

"I want to be the reason you stop cutting. Not why you start again." he said softly.

I want to be the one you fall in love with. Not the one you ditch for another.

(So...What do you think? I tried to make sense of this the best I can going off from the last chapter.)

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