As they were stuck in a tree, it was even more boring for Kevin and Mr. Teddy than it had been two hours ago. Kevin was thinking about tacos again, and was beginning to think they were going to be there for a long, long time.
Thankfully, she was wrong, otherwise this would have been a very boring part of the story. As soon as Kevin was about to nod off for a nap, a man burst through some nearby trees. Weirdly enough, there were only three trees to be seen for a mile around. Don't ask me how he got there, I don't know either.
"Oh! I am so, so sorry!" the man exclaimed, bustling towards our protagonists.
The man was dressed in a tie-dye shirt, a tinfoil hat, and khakis, and it looked as if he hadn't washed or cut his hair in weeks. His general appearance was so shocking that Kevin couldn't find the words to speak.
Fumbling with the roped that held the group up, the man tried to explain.
"I am terribly sorry. These ropes aren't meant to catch people. Although, sometimes, an occaisonal Republican will get trapped, in which case I just leave him there for-"
Kevin finally worked up enough nerve to interrupt the man, "Well, what are these ropes meant to catch, then?"
"Raptors." The man stated, "Nasty little biscuits. Take all your lifetime supply and bacon, then steal your hard drive. I tell- you if I ever see one of those in my bunker again..."
Suddenly, the ropes around the burro loosed, and Kevin and Mr. Teddy plopped onto the ground rather unceremoniously.
"What was that for?" Kevin started to yell, but the man cut her off.
"No time to talk!" he declared, fastening tinfoil hats around Kevin and Mr. Teddy, "Put these on. If you don't wear these, the government will hack into your brain and delete all your memories of those furry little cat memes you see on the internet. Now, come on! We must go! Before they find us..."
Then, before Kevin or Mr. Teddy could say a word, the man pulled them along across the barren countryside. This could be a longer day than Kevin had expected.
YOU ARE READING
The Adventures Through Time, Among Other Things
FantasyThere once was a boy... There! Was that enough to hook you? Yes? No? Read this anyways!
