The Adventures Through Time, Among Other Things

RoboTrump

Kevin came to in a dark, dark... place. Kevin didn't really know where she was. It was dark. So it was just a place.

As Kevin tried to get her eyes to adjust, she heard deep, ominous laughter echoing from the darkness. The laughter was menacing, robtic, somehow disembodied. She tried to think about what the noise could be, but suddenly a set of large overhead lights flicked on, revealing the menacing shape of... a hunk of metal.

But as Kevin quickly learned, it was not just a hunk of metal. As it began to move, Kevin realized that it was an animated piece of metal. In fact, it was more than just a piece of animated metal;. It was actually a robot. A big one.

Whole kevin watched, the robot stood up and shifted itself into a humanoid form. It slowly turned its head around, gradually revealing the representation of a face of none other than Donald Trump. Yes, that's right, America's beloved Donald Trump, as predicted in the year 2000 by the Simpsons.

Kevin, however, was from Mars, and totally ignorant of Earth's famous figures, except for Wizard Obama and the vague names that Bob had thrown out while babbling. So, somewhat confused and very indignant, Kevin composed herself and demanded, "Who in Super Dr. Bob PhD Colon's name are you, and why am I here?"

Donald Trump (or at least the cyborg/robot version of him) laughed and responded, "Why young child, my name is Donald Trump. I'm the supreme savior of America, and protector of the Mecican/American border. I love all my citizens, except for Mexicans. You wouldn't happen to be a Mexican, would you?"

"That is the most racist thing I have ever heard," Kevin stated, offended.

Trump chuckled and beckoned Kevin to come closer.

"You're a funny kid," he said, "let me show you how things work in America."

Trump, in his large, robotic body, lumbered over with Kevin to a large window that overlooked a wide expanse of land.

"Look, kid," he said, "this is America. Everything the light touches is good."

"What about that shadowy place over there?" Kevin asked, pointing towards the South a little ways.

"That's Mexico. You must never to go there, child." Trump spat, as if the very word disgusted him.

"Now I'm sure you're wondering about how I so greatly rule America and keep away the filthy Mexicans. You see, child, I never liked immigrants. Never. They ruin the economy. So when I was finally elected president of the United States, I decided to build a wall across the border to Mexico. It did a great job keeping out illegals... until the filthy Hispanics broke it down," he scowled.

Trump was clearly about to elaborate about the evil immigrants and how they so horribly broke down the Great Wall of America, but politics were really completely boring to Kevin, and she decided to cut to the more important point.

"Why are you a robot?" Kevin blurted.

And suddenly a horde of giant raptors burst through the wall.