Mess

13.

The boys left earlier than normal that evening when it became clear that Harry and Louis would pay no attention to whatever they were doing. When they were watching the movie earlier, all Louis did was sit in the bathroom and Harry sitting in the living room with a panicked look on his face. So, they left, saying quiet goodbyes to the anxious boy on the couch with soft smiles.

Harry took deep breaths, an attempt of trying to calm down. He looked at the clock, knowing that it had been fifteen minutes since his boyfriend went to the bathroom, and yes, he was fucking worried.

He knew he should trust him, but it was hard when he had forgotten to put away the small blade that was used earlier to shave his stubble.

"Louis?" he called, standing up from the couch to walk towards the bathroom. His fingers were trembling when he grabbed the door knob. "Are you alright?"

It was silent for while, Harry having his ear as close as possible to the white door to try and listen to what Louis was doing. Unfortunately, he couldn't hear anything.

"Baby?"

He called him again, knocking rapidly on the door now.

This time though, he got an answer from the boy inside. It was a quiet mumble, so quiet that Harry barely understood.

"Shit," Louis was whispering repeatedly under his breath, "fuck."

"Louis?! Open the door, now!" Harry shouted, his face going pale when he heard a noise that sounded too much like a sharp object hitting the floor. "Baby?"

The doorlock made a small sound, signaling that it had been unlocked. Harry didn't waste anymore time standing outside, immediately slamming the door open. Even though he was telling himself a minute earlier to be prepared for the sight he was maybe about to see, he reacted by screaming the loudest he had ever screamed.

"LOUIS!"

Harry was crying out his boyfriend's name again and again like a mantra, already running to sit down on the floor in front of where Louis had collapsed. He could barely concentrate on the cuts, his eyes glancing up at Lou to see if he was still alive and breathing. Thank God, he was.

"Baby," Harry sniffled, coughing loudly as his teary eyes studied the boy's bleeding arms and weak legs. "My baby boy, fuck."

Louis sobbed as he looked at Harry with the most ashamed expression. "I-I'm sorry," he whispered, and shook his head frantically, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't you dare," Harry said sternly, his eyes brimming with tears, "Louis William Tomlinson, don't you dare apologize."

"H-Harry-"

"Don't you dare, baby. It's alright. I'm not mad at you, and I don't hate you," Harry whispered slowly, making sure his words were understood by his boyfriend who just couldn't stop beating himself up. "I'm sad. Really sad, because it's the first time I've seen you like this, and I'm so freaking worried."

"You're my baby boyfriend, and seeing you so hurt-" Harry choked up, swallowing multiple times to try to get away the lump in his throat. "Don't leave me, please."

Louis gasped when he felt Harry's arms around him tightly and the wetness on his bare shoulder.

"Please, stay with me."

Louis nodded, breathing in hard. "Yes," he croaked out as he began crying more and more till he was having a hard minute of getting his lungs to work again.

"Baby boy," Harry comforted, holding his face up with a sad smile. "Breathe, please. Slowly, take a deep breath and exhale."

Louis did exactly what he was told, whilst Harry sobbed quitely and cleaned his cuts with cold water and bandages.

He felt so bad for doing this to the love of his life and the most wonderful boy in the world, but it was so hard. His arms were stinging, screaming for something painful to cut up his already wounded skin. He did everything he could not to fall into the temptation of hurting himself, but he failed. He was a failure. An ugly failure.

"I love you with all my heart, baby," Harry whispered, kissing his soft chapped lips. "I love you so much."

Louis shook his head, standing up from the floor with his trembling skinny legs. "I'm so pathetic, Harry. I'm so ugly, disgusting and a fucking failure-"

He couldn't finish his sentence. His heart was hurting and his vision started to get blurry and dark. Before he collapsed on the floor again, Harry's arms were around his body, always protecting him from every evil little thing in the world.

"You, my lovely Louis, are the most beautiful boy in the world. Don't you ever call yourself a failure again, because you're the most wonderful human being I've ever come across in my life. Gosh, you're an angel."

Harry was carrying him in his arms now, staring at him with the most loving expression that Louis lost his breath for a moment. He felt like a princess, being carried by prince charming to their castle. The only difference was that he was not a princess, nor a prince. Harry, though, was definitely his prince charming.

"Tomorrow, I will take you out on a wonderful date, and I'll show you how much you mean to me. Gosh, you mean so much to me."

Louis smiled for the first time since his breakdown, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder as they made their towards the bedroom.

Ten seconds later, he was on their soft bed, already tired by just feeling the soft matress on his back. Harry was quick to undress himself, and lied down next to Louis, cuddling the sniffling boy so much that it was impossible for him to escape. Louis didn't mind, though. He loved Harry's kisses and cuddles more than anything else in the world.

"My baby," Harry whispered, softly kissing his forehead. "Baby."

The goosebumps were rising on his skin, and it felt like his insides were melting when Harry continued to coodle him. He loved the feeling of being taken care of, because never in his life had he ever felt cared for. It was so wonderful, especially Harry's lips trailing kisses up and down his back. That 'perfect' moment was over though, when his boyfriend started to softly stroke his left arm that was currenly stinging bad.

"I'm so sorry," Louis whimpered, but was immediately hushed by Harry who seemed pretty stern about his baby punishing himself like this.

"Don't, Louis. It's alright, okay? Don't apologize. It's all gonna be alright," Harry said, kissing his ear. "I'm here. I won't leave."

Louis looked at him with sad eyes. "Harry-" he stammered, for the second time being interrupted by his boyfriend shaking his head.

"I love you with all my heart, baby boy," Harry breathed out, smiling softly when he saw Louis struggling to keep his eyes open. "Go to sleep, love."

And when Louis was finally getting some rest, all Harry was stare at him. There was a bigger dark cloud of worry in his head now, wanting nothing more to keep Louis safe and most importantly, alive.