Victimized

WHY?!?!

Victimized

Chapter 4:

            Today I was going to the doctor for my ultrasound appointment. This ultrasound will be telling me if I be having a baby boy or girl, I really could care less on what I will be having; all I care is that it's healthy. I'm showing now, the baby bump is very big and visible. People are always whispering and point at my stomach. Everyone in town knows heck everyone in the world know the fact that I was rape; my face was on the news for a whole month for everyone to see and know everything about my situation.

            I was so excited; I would be seeing my baby again. I have been so attached to him/her already; and it's helping me with overcome some of my trusting issues. Mom has been helping me what my physical contact with issues. She has been holding my hand to get me use to contact. At first, I would always flinch away screaming, but now I would flinch a little then be okay after a few seconds. Now she would put an arm around me or on my stomach, and I wouldn't be as scared as I would have been 4 months ago.

            My sister Madison is so eager about the baby. She always talks about him/her and she talks to my stomach about how they will play with all her toys. It is so cute to watch her. She and I have been spending time on picking out baby names.

            I walked into my bathroom to see how I look. My dyed red hair was straightened and covered with a grey beanie while half of my bangs showed at the side of my face. I had a white off-the-shoulder top with Mickey Mouse on it, faded short-shorts and tan colour Softmoc Moccasins with fur on the inside flowing out. My grey eyes popes like usual with my eyeliner. I was okay with the way I looked, I didn't think I was ugly, I knew that I was pretty, everyone tells me but I'm not cocky about it like most girls.

"Faith, come on honey, we're going to be late for your appointment." I heard mom yell from downstairs. I looked at myself one last time and saw I was happy with my results; I went downstairs the fastest I could with my already huge stomach.

"Ready."

            My mom, Madison, and I walked to the car got in and drove off to the hospital where my ultrasound appointment was being held at. I was bouncing up and down in my seat, I was so excited. After, what felt like hours we finally arrived at the hospital. Once I was signed in. we took a seat in the waiting room.

            I looked around to all the pregnant women around me. They all looked at me funny, well I guess it was because I ‘m so young and having a baby, but they also knew what happened to me, so that gives them a second reason to look at me in sympathy, disgust, or shame. People all over this town know what happened to me, it's a small town there is nothing that goes on that everyone doesn't know the next second. That and the fact that I was in every newspaper and news channel for 2 weeks after everything happened.

"Faith Carter?" I heard the woman at the reception call. She looked young like 25. She had blond hair, chubby figure and what looked liked hazel eyes. She was actually very pretty even with her chubby body.

We followed her down the narrow hallway to our room. Once we were in I lied down on the small bed in the corner of the small room. Seconds later, Dr. Taylor came in. This was the hardest part about my appointments the getting close part and him touching me.

"Good afternoon ladies." Dr. Taylor said while sneaking a glance at my mom. It's not like she was any better she was sneaking a glance and blushing all with a great big grin on her face.

"So, Faith, let's see how the baby is doing." He grabbed a pair of gloves and sat in his chair, he turned to me with a squeeze bottle full of gel. Once the cold gel was on my stomach he grabbed the thing that they use to see the baby with. As soon as the device touched my stomach I heard my baby's heart beat. A few months ago I told the doctor to record the sound of the baby's heartbeat and then burn it on a CD.

"Everything seems to be going good, the baby is in the right position, and the right size. Now, would you like to know if it's a baby boy or girl?"

"What do you think booboo? Do you want to find out if it's a boy or girl?” I asked Madison. She nodded her rapidly up and down so fast that I think her brain shifted. I laughed so did Dr. Taylor and my mom. I caught them looking at each other with goo-goo eyes again.

"Okay Dr. Taylor, let's see what I'll be having." I said I put my hand into Madison's and entwined our fingers together. I really didn't care if I was having either a boy or a girl all I care about is that it's healthy while it's inside me and when it comes out.

"Congratulations are having a baby...girl." he said with a huge smile. I was so happy I was having a little girl. Tears started to well up in my eyes and slid down the side of my face. I continued to look at the monitor and weep in joy.

            After the doctor's appointment we were in the car driving home when I suddenly had a craving for a blizzard from Dairy Queen with funnel cake. I have been eating like a pig these past few weeks, being pregnant gives you weird cravings and weird eating schedule.

"Mom, can we go to Dairy Queen, then go home to make funnel cakes?" I asked

"Okay, but do you want to go to a baby shop after we go to Dairy Queen. The baby will be coming soon and we need to be ready and have everything set up for when she comes."

"I know, but I want funnel cake."

"Faith, food is not the only thing that you should be thinking about right now. You should be thinking about what will be happening when the baby comes, like looking for a job, baby supplies, school and all the other things. What are you going to do about school? You are not dropping out. How about a job? Are you looking for any ads? How will you be supporting your baby?"

"I know I have a lot of think about and plan but I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well you need to get you priorities straight, because you are having a baby in a matter of 4 months."

"It wasn't my fault I got pregnant. It was willingly, and I was raped." At this point I had tears slid down my face uncontrollably.

"honey-" she sighed

I shook my head. "You know what, I don't feel like going anywhere, let's just go home."

"Don't be sad, Fufu. I don't like it when you're sad." Madison said in a small voice. I turned my head to look at her and smiled to make her happy.

            After that discussion everyone in the car was silent, all that was heard was that radio playing a song that I didn't know on very low volume. Once my mom parked to car in the driveway I races upstairs to my room slammed the door, ran to my bed, and cried.

"Why did this have to happen to me? What have I done in my life that was so wrong that god wanted this to happen to me?" I sobbed out "Why? Why? WHY?" I screamed.

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Okay people so I have been so busy this week. I have edited it a little bit tell me if I have any more mistakes. :D

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